Misery
by pompom1124
Summary: America is in misery. He decides to end his time. England witnesses America's body and helps him live. But will he help him get over the fact he's not a worthless country? And how will America return to the normal country he used to be? USUK. ATTEMPT at Suicide.
1. Chapter 1

America continued to cry. He felt so torn so sad. He kept sobbing on the side of the bed shaking his head. He felt so worthless. He wasn't half a thousand years old and his citizens where already terrified of the economy collapsing, the possibility of war with China, and unemployment. The end of America.

How long was it? How long did he fake the healthiness and happiness. He owed China trillions. America felt pity for himself.

America managed to hold it in and smile but now he couldn't take it. He couldn't help his people or himself. What a hero. America wiped his tears and looked up. He saw a knife glistening on his desk.

He left that knife there yesterday. He was peeling off a orange and apparently forgot it there.

The drapes where closed the room was dark. America looked around tge room. empty and dark. He grabbed the knife and sighed.

He could just end his pain and misery. End it all. End the suffering and pain his people and him go through. End the worries. America slightly chuckled. What would the president say? What would England say?

America let the tears drop and land on the blade. He put the knife down and kept thinking. What was better? Dying by suicide or economic collapse? By Chinese war? America paced around the room and kept thinking. Some people thought he wouldn't survive Obama's final term.

America sighed and looked at the world map England gave him last year. America, as a joke, had grabbed a thumbtack and pinned it on the exact place where Big Ben was and another on the heart of Florida. Now it wasn't even funny to the American. He looked at the map and let his eyes wander until he saw Rome. He suddenly remembered Rome was a vast empire. Right? And then Rome fell. America was bigger than Rome but Rome was more powerful, dividing and conquering.

And then he disappeared off the face of the Earth. America remembered Italy saying something about the scars on Rome's back. America had one scar and that was on his heart. Rome probably had a lot more.

America decided he would end his own life. He played some music.

Then he grabbed the knife and sighed.

"My economy was failing anyways."

England knocked for the tenth time on the git's door. He was furious until he heard music blasting out of the windows. England growled and started to look for a way up the window. Luckily he found a ladder and started to climb.

He smirked when he realized the american's window was opened. He went in and landed on all fours. He dusted himself off and fixed his jacket.

He then noticed he was in America's room and the music was super loud. England sniffed the air and realized it smelled sort of like...blood.

His eyes widen and he started walking around the room. He looked at the bed and saw it wet with salty tears. He turned to the desk and saw blood dripping off a chair. His paced hurried and he saw America's body on the floor with a medium sized pool of blood.

"AMERICA!" He shouted.

He ran to America and kneeled to pick him up.

"J-Just l-let me...die." America sputtered small drops of blood flying out of his mouth. England laid America on the bed, ran the the kitchen, grabbed some towels, and started to aid America.

"Let me die... It's no use... I'm gonna die soon anyways." America whispered.

England finished calling 911 and looked at America in his eyes.

"I will not let you die. Do not die on me you bloody git."

America coughed and asked why.

"B-Because I love you." England whispered.

And with that America fell unconscious.

I'll continue this. This was based on my grief. Sorry if you don't like it but things will get better. If you hate it go ahead. There's the review box. Review and peace out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to my first reviewers. **

England watched as the ambulance took America away. He shook his head. America had so much to live for. Why did he want to die so badly? England grabbed his phone and dialed Canada's number walking back into the house.

"Canada?"

"Yes England? You sound sad."

"It's America..."

"Did he do something stupid again?"

"Yes. Attempt of suicide."

"N-No... England don't lie like that." Canada replied his voice breaking up.

"It's true. I'm going to be allowed to visit him tomorrow. Will you come please?"

"Of course. I'm going to book the fastest plane. No I'll use a jet. I'll be there first thing in the morning."

England smiled weakly and hung up. He realized he made it to America's room. His was-to-be death place. He started to look around and felt a sick turn in his stomach when he saw the blood. He looked at the map that was hung up. He frowned when he saw the thumbtacks.

He went to the desk and saw the knife next to one of the wooden legs. He picked it up and let the tears fall off and mix with the blood. He coughed and choked back the tears.

"No I must be strong. For America." He whispered. He sat down on the chair and started to open the drawers. He was looking for answers. He dug through the pencils, pens, and papers. He moved on to the second. Then third. Then fourth. He soon ran out of drawers. There was nothing left. And the file cabinets needed keys. Anyways there probably only be well...files.

England groaned and studied the desk. Nineteen eighty Victorian wood. He kept inspecting the desk amazed in the wonderful condition America had it in. A glimpse of a handle caught his eyes. He turned his head and saw under the desk was a hidden drawer.

He quickly opened it and found a key. It wasn't a file cabinet key but a different type. He then realized that this desk was the type of desk that had two different secret compartments. If only he good find the other one.

England went on his knees and started to put his ears against the door and knock. He kept going until he heard a hollow knock. He then started to tear off the piece of wood. He saw a safe that needed the key and a 6 numbered combination. He inserted the key and thought for a second. Six numbered combination. He then saw a sticky note and grabbed it.

'Day of Fireworks and Hotdogs.'

England's left eye twitched. He started to turn the dial. 741776. He looked in and saw 3 blue journals. He grabbed them and sat on the desk. The first one was labeled '1776-1894', the second being '1894-2003', and the last one was '2003-'.

England grabbed the first two and placed them on his lap. He grabbed the latest one and skipped to the first entry of 2013.

January 30, 2013

Obama is president again. I'm actually looking forward to this year more than anything else. This will be the year. I can feel it. The year something important happens. My economy will rise I know it. Everyone is celebrating. I hope he won't let me down. Everyone is counting on him. Especially me.

America.

England sighed and flipped through pages until he found March.

March 23, 2013

Is it getting worse? Is it getting better? Hell if I know. My dreams are crushed. If I survive this then it'll probably be China that will wipe me off the earth. And if I don't survive this then... I'm dead. Just like the Roman Empire. Gone and Dead embedded in history books and people will ask, "That was real?" Or "That country didn't last long. A shame." But I still need smiles to go.

America.

England was shocked at this entry. Smiles? The American still wanted to smile after all he went through? He shook it off and flipped to the last one.

July 29, 2013

Tomorrows the day. Or should I say today? It's 12 am so in reality it's the 30th. Today's the day I die. I can't stand it. I'm going insane. Good thing no one knows. So what if I'm a coward? I'm doing this for everyone. One country to get off the other nations back. Less wars. Actually if I die... Maybe it'll be a good thing. Iggy's visiting tomorrow. I'll be dead before he comes. It's not a big deal anyways.

America.

England started to cry tears falling onto the pages. The stupid ass hat was planning suicide! And he thought no one would care! He thought he was a worthless nation! England was furious. How could America do such a thing!

He growled and almost threw the book across the room. But anger wouldn't get him anywhere. He sighed and stared at the journal. He flipped the last page but was surprised to see another entry.

July 30, 2012

The eagle soars

Strong and confident

It was raised by the lion

Who gave him wisdom

And happiness

The eagle decided

He needed to fly higher

Farther

And get his own life

After fighting with the lion the

Eagle escaped into the sky

He faced loneliness and

Hardships

But he flew on

And on

He had different caretakers

Who where more like

Friends

The eagle was happy

And amazing

But now it cries

It fought with the snow leopard

And now maybe the

Dragon

The eagle saddens every day

Loosing its carefree

Happiness

It tears forming the rain

It bleeds

The blood forming a pool

It screams

The screams form the howling winds

And great destruction

And it will start to die

Leaving his friends and

Life

And sometimes he wishes

He stayed with the lion

Other times he wishes

The lion was there next to him

To love him again

And care for him

But it will be too late

The eagle

Will never whisper

The last words it always

Wanted to say to the

Lion

Three words that were

I love you

And everyone will witness

What was once

The great American

Eagle

England almost stopped breathing and his heart skipped a beat. He knew who that lion was. Of course the eagle was America. America wanted the lion. And that lion who took care of him. Who raised him. Who loved him like a brother. Who fought him. Was none other than England himself.

And America loved him back. England put the book on his lap and sighed.

The American eagle didn't die. The lion had saved it's former brother, former enemy, its friend from death. The lion saved the American eagle from death. And the American eagle now has a broken wing, a broken heart, and a broken mind.

England mumbled some curse words and went to America's closet. He pulled out one shirt that smelled most like the American and went to America's bed. He hugged the shirt tight as if it was America. Sadly he already let America slip from his grasp.

England woke up the next day and smelled pancakes. He had a nightmare about America dying in his arms smiling and laughing insanely.

England woke up to see who was in the kitchen.

"A-America?" He whispered.

"Ah no Britain. It's Canada. Here are some pancakes. The rest are for Alfred." Canada mumbled.

"Oh I'm sorry Canada. Thank you for the breakfast. How did you get in?"

"It's ok. And the door was unlocked."

Canada took off the apron and wrapped the remaining pancakes in aluminum.

England finished his pancakes, grabbed the journals, and headed to Canada's car.

Halfway to the hospital England sighed and Canada asked what was wrong.

"I had this dream..."  
-/-

England held America close to his body. America just laughed more and more, blood spilling out of his mouth.

"England! I'm dying! Isn't this wonderful? Why aren't you smiling?!" America screamed.

"This isn't right! You shouldn't die! England yelled.

America smiled blood all over his mouth area. America kissed England on the cheek and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you. But I'm going to die now."

America one again plunged the knife into his stomach laughing maniacally while England screamed no.

America died in front of England. England looked up and into the mirror and saw the bloody kiss on his cheek.

He looked at America and realized his body had disappeared. In his place was an America eagle. The only difference was that, instead of white, the head was crimson.

"A-America?" England whispered.

The bird looked confused and flew away. It returned this time with a lion. England shook his head.

"You're supposed to be alive you bloody wanker!" He screamed, the word bloody repeating and echoing.

Canada put his hand on England's shoulder.

"He's not dead. Don't worry. C'mon we're here." Canada replied.

England shook his head and got our. He was then surprised that most of the countries were there in the waiting room. The Axis, Allies, Spain, Korea, and others. They were all here to see America. England growled. All these people cared about America! Was he blind damn it!


	3. Chapter 3

Alfred sighed. He laid in the hospital bed with a huge bandage wrapped around his stomach. It was wrapped around him tight to prevent further loss of blood. It pained him with few stings but other than that it was fine.

The room he was occupying was clear and white. Just plain and it contained the strong smell of chlorine. There was a small beeping sound every now and then which almost drove America nuts. The door creaked opened. America turned is head in surprise.

He saw the doctor come in and frowned.

"What is it this time old man? I took my pills. Man you can never let a guy die in peace these days."

The doctor looked up from the clipboard and sighed. He had an annoyed expression on his aging face.

"Alfred you attempted suicide. That is anything but peaceful. According to the ambulance report, a man named Arthur Kirkland claims he found you half dead with a knife near you." He said in a regular tone, as if he had many other patients who tried this.

America smiled at the thought of England. But he shrugged it off realizing he probably put the smaller nation in shock.

"Arthur... That dude's stubborn. He wouldn't let me die... So what up doc? You gonna send me to a mental institution or what?" America asked impatiently. He figured that if he wasn't gonna stay in the ground he might as well be locked up in a small white room wearing a heavy straight jacket.

"No Alfred we have no intentions of doing that. You're perfectly sane. You just have a lot if visitors."

Alfred looked at the man in disbelief. He looked at the doctor as if a arrow was stuck between his head and there was a tomato dancing on his head. It couldn't be true.

"Even if I did have visitors, you expect me to let them in and see me plugged in with tubes and wires sticking out of me? And what about this bandage?! I might as well be connected to life support for fuck's sake!" He yelled.

The doctor shook his head. This boy was crazy. He sighed and shook his head.

"Fine Alfred..." He started to leave until America spoke.

"Wait. Let them in. Let them see a boy who faced death. Let them see their 'friend'. Let them see what horror actually looks like." America replied expressionless.

Soon America's room was filled with a good amount of countries from the world. All of them he knew. They stared at him in sadness and disbelief. Especially England. His green eyes lost their shine. America bit his lip.

He knew what ran through their minds.

What happened to America?

What drove him to do such a horrific act?

This isn't real.

Their faces where as if they where sculpted with sadness and grief. As if they witnessed foul play right before their eyes and it kept replaying. They looked at him with horror.

Guilt.

Grief.

And Sadness.

America stop staring at his fellow countries and mentally cursed. He had quite enough of this silence.

"You guys like the stunt I played? Too bad it didn't work huh? Truth is I should have died..."

That comment did it for the Canadian. That comment teared his heart into pieces. That comment caused the brotherly affection he had for America collapse for a second. That comment killed him.

"ENOUGH! AMERICA YOUR 'STUNT' CAUSED US GRIEF! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Screamed an angry Canada.

Everyone looked at Canada in shock. The usually quite and invisible country was steamed. Half of the countries didn't even know the boy was there.

America just laughed. He laughed which made it seemed as if he didn't care about the others souls. As if he didn't care what the others thought or felt about his death.

"You wanna know what wrong?! IM DYING THAT'S WHATS WRONG! IM PROBABLY GONNA DIE THIS YEAR! SO WHY NOT END IT BY SUICIDE! I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF YOUR LIVES! DONT YOU GET IT?! IM USELESS! U-S-E-L-E-S-S!" America screamed tears streaming down his face. He put his face in his hands and cried. The more he cried the more the others felt guilty.

" don't cry." Whispered Lithuania.

America stopped crying and looked up.

"You guys wanna see something? Something that proves I was dead serious about this?" America mumbled.

No one answered but America knew the silence was really a yes in disguise.

America slowly got out of bed. The doctors hadn't removed him of his clothes just his shirt. That way they could fix his wound and add the proper medication.

But that was enough to see the bandage. How it covered a vast part of America's stomach. America's stomach was covered in layers of gauze bandages. The part in the middle was faded pink with a mix of light red.

America then started spitting out some facts.

"I stuck the knife 2 inches deep. I lost 5 liters of blood. I stayed there 5 minutes straight half dead. I knew the consequences. I'm not an idiot." America replied. He got back in the bed and sighed.

"Why did you guys even come?" He asked sadly placing the needles back in his skin.

"Because we care you git." England replied.

America eyes widened when he heard that phrase. Did they really care? Did they honestly care what happened? Or was this just a big platter of lies with a bunch of bullshit piled on top?

Never less America decided to apologize for his sudden outburst. After all he was the hero.

"Sorry if I acted a bit insane. So what do you want to do now that you're here?" America asked weakly.

Everyone looked at each other without a clue on their faces. Italy looked around and started to speak.

"Ve~ um America why don't we watch some football. Or soccer as you Americans call it." Italy asked.

America smiled. There was something about watching soccer with another nation he liked. Maybe it was because it wasn't like football where it's state vs state.

"Sure why not! I heard Mexico was playing against Brazil."

America's smile quickly faded when his stomach growled.

"Oh oh..."

"What is it America?" England asked worriedly.

"I don't have any burgers with me."

"YOU ASS HAT!"  
-

America looked at the dinner in front of him.

There was steamy chicken noodle soup, mashed potatoes, and a small salad with croutons and apple juice to the side. And for dessert? Applesauce.

He reluctantly grabbed his plastic fork and started to poke the salad.

'What kind of fuckery is this?' He thought. He turned to the black and white clock hanging on the top of the door.

It was 10pm and most of the countries had left except for Prussia, Canada, and England.

America made sure no one was looking and threw the food away. He just grabbed the apple sauce and started to eat. He wasn't really hungry.

England turned around to check on America. It surprised him that the boy finished all his food. But then again America always stuffs himself up with junk food.

"Oh America you finished your food already?" England asked concerned.

"Yeah." America lied. It pained him to lie to England this day.

"Well Canada and Prussia are getting ready to leave. They'll comeback tomorrow."

America shrugged it off and just made that shooing motion.

"They can get out. I don't blame them. Bye guys. Night." America replied.

Canada went over to America and hugged him.

"Take care." He whispered.

America smirked. He ruffled his twin's hair and smiled.

"Why wouldn't I?" He muttered.

Canada sighed and looked at America with an expression that said 'seriously'? He said goodbye to England. When he soon left with Prussia, America laid back and started to flip through the channels.

"You can leave if you want. I don't need any help going to sleep."

England turned to America and told him,

"I am not leaving you bloody wanker. I won't and never will until you get better."

America smiled and kept staring at the TV. After flipping through all the channels 12 times he fixed his pillow and faced England.

"I'm going to sleep ok?" He mumbled.

"Ok America. Good night. Sweet dreams." England replied giving the bigger nation a hug.

America laughed. He didn't know why. He just started to laugh.

"Sweet dreams... Oh England you crack me up. G'night old man."

America soon appeared as if he was asleep. After a few minutes England yawned and decided to make himself comfortable in the chair.

America wasn't really asleep. He was just half conscious. Drifting into sleep really. England was already sleeping. America looked at his bandages.

Suicide.

The word danced in his mind like a skeleton. He traced the bandages and realized how stupid he was to attempt suicide.

America realized his mistake and started to cry. All the pressure and stress of today, and finally this crying, caused the wound to slowly bleed again. America just kept crying realizing how stupid he thought he was. Maybe it was true... He was useless.

England woke up to sounds of sobbing. He turned around and saw America pouring his heart out. But this time he was bleeding. The sheets were covered in red dark stains.

"AMERICA!" England yelled.

America looked up and started to sputter.

"I'm s-sorry Iggy. T-Terribly s-sorry."

England stood shocked. He ran outside and rushed to the nearest nurse.

"Ma'am! I'm sorry but there's a patient and he's bleeding. Room 876."

The nurse rushed to the phone and called the doctor. When he made it to the room the doctor stopped him.

"We need you to stay out here."

England stayed in the waiting room for some news. He felt as if he almost had an anxiety attack. America was a bit fine and next thing you know he starts crying and bleeding. He groaned in despair. He heard the clacking of leather shoes against the cold marble floor and looked up.

He saw the doctor come back out.

"Hello . Alfred is fine. All the stress he was in put more pressure on the wound. We gave him some pills just in case. He's more stable than he was before but we're still going to keep him for a few days."

England shook his head in understanding.

"And you can visit him if you like. Not to prod but are you his brother?"

England thought for a second.

"Um... Well sort of. I...adopted... Alfred so he was like a brother or a son to me. But he grew up and he had enough of me so he decided I should disown him...but honestly he left me..." England mumbled.

"Oh I'm sorry sir. And sorry for prodding."

"Oh. It's fine. All lot of people know. Can I visit him?"

"Yes."

England went into the room and saw America with more bandages on his stomach.

"Iggy I swear I didn't-"

"I know America. And I believe you."

America smiled and started to think.

"Hey Iggy. I realized how stupid it was to kill myself."

England winced but faced America.

"Good."

America got up from the bed and headed towards a green bag with white words in small print that read 'Recycled in the US'. He looked through the bag eagerly and hurriedly as if treasure was there.

"England can you read this to me?" He asked after looking through it.

He held up a book. It was in an old condition with a hardcover. The pages where a ginger color and smelled of dust and sourness. Some pages where crinkled, the back was peeling off, and the plastic was torn up.

It was entitled 'Poems made by Robert Frost'.

England sat on a chair and started to read.

"Actually...can you sit over here? So I can see the book."

England looked up and saw America was pointing to the empty space next to him on the bed. England's faced flushed but he shook it off. He sat next to America and flipped through the pages until he saw a poem that caught his attention.

He started to read 'Good-bye, and Keep Cold'.

America listened with respect. But most importantly, he listened with his heart.

**Triple Baka! Nice song thx KK! I tried adding some more details. Peace out and rock your life. (No I'm not saying YOLO. I'm not big fan of that just saying)**

**GOODBYE YOU WONDERFUL PEOPLE**


	4. Chapter 4

America smiled when England finished the book of poems. England sighed, got off the bed, and stretched. That was a long book.

The nurse came in and placed lunch in front of America who smiled. But when she left he took one bite of everything and threw it away.

"Why did you do that?"

America looked at England.

"I wasn't hungry." He muttered opening the squishy yellow applesauce and eating it.

England frowned.

"America you can't starve yourself like that."

"I'm not."

"I'm going to get some lunch. Will that be alright?"

America looked up and shook his head.

"Yeah. You can go. But can I use your iPod while your away?"

England smiled and rolled his eyes. He threw the iPod at America and walked out of the hospital. He made his way to the nearest restaurant, sadly it was McDonalds. England ordered a salad and a burger. He then grabbed a coke.

He munched on the salad his thoughts drifting to America. He finished and walked out with the burger and soda in a lunch bag.

When he made it to America's room he saw him spaced out. He also saw Prussia and Canada whispering to each other.

Canada was arguing with Prussia. Whatever Canada was suggesting Prussia didn't like it. England walked up to them and asked what they where talking about.

"Blondie wants to send America to a therapist. But those dudes don't solve nothing. Mattie also wants to pay for the sessions but I won't let him. Why ask a stranger to help a family member when you can do it yourself?!" Prussia hissed his silver chains making a cling noise.

"Oh I'm sure the git doesn't need therapy. Don't worry." England replied in a soothing tone.

Canada smiled and thanked him.

"M-Maple. He was spaced out when we came in. We didn't want to bother him so we stayed here."

"Well I'll be sure to tell him about your visit. Thank you."

As soon as they left England smiled and placed the bag in front of America.

"America...love? Hello? Earth to the fucking bloody superpower?" England said waving his hands in front of America.

America snapped back into reality and chuckled.

"Hey man! Is that lunch? You didn't make it did you?" America asked poking the bag.

"It's McDonalds you twat."

"Man you're the best!"

America opened the bag and took out the soda. He drank the soda but pretty much ignored the burger. When America finished with the soda he grabbed the burger and took small bites.

"Prussia and Canada came to vis- America? Are you even hungry?" England asked.

America looked at England and sighed.

"No I'm not really hungry. But I wouldn't mind eating this. And what was that about Prussia and Canada?"

"They came to visit but you where out of it so they didn't bother you and left a while back. It seems as if you don't even want to eat."

"Don't worry. I'm fine." He mumbled. He continued munching until he had no more. A shame too considering he wasn't even half done.

"Here. If you want it have it. What did you have for lunch anyways?" America asked.

"A small salad."

"Then here. It's yours anyways." America said handing over the half eaten burger. England sighed and was about to argue until he saw Americas glare. He ripped of the parts America bit and started to eat it. It wasn't that bad but England still didn't like the health factors.

"Why are you eating it like that?" America asked.

"Like what?"

"Like a child nibbling a carrot. Correction, bunny."

"I am not!"

"Ah. Are too."

"Are Not!"

"Are Too!"

"Are Not!"

"Fine but either way you still look adorable." America blurted. He then started to stammer.

"B-But not like that. J-Just a compliment that's all... Hey was that lamp always there?!"

England blushed and threw the burger away.

"I'm not hungry anymore."  
-2 days later-  
After 5 days in that hospital America was finally released. England drove him home and decided to stay with him.

"The doctors says you have to eat healthy and get plenty of rest. Oh and you'll have to change that bandage every 5 hours but I'll do that instead."

"W-Why?"

"America last time you got near a roll of gauze bandage you wrapped it all around yourself, got stuck, and you had to call me to all the way from Europe. And you looked like someone from a mental institute."

America puffed his checks out and started to pout.

"America you know very well that bloody shit does not work with me. I'm changing your bandages not your pants." England replied digging through the cabinet.

America stood there in silence and just did nothing.

"Stupid British..." He mumbled under his breath.

"I'd say the same thing to Americans!"

America then started to walk towards his room and flopped on his bed.

"Aw man. It reeks of blood." America moaned. He grabbed a mop and started to clean the wooden floors. He sprayed it with Clorox and Febreze. The room smelled better but the stain was still there.

America groaned and flopped on his bed. His eyes started to drift and become heavy. His breathing slowed down along with his heart. And then America went to sleep.

America looked around. Where was he? The walls where white with the exception of the red pain splattered around the walls. Paint...?

America got up and realized he was in one of those jackets with the locks the didn't let you move your arms. He sat back down. The door opened and in came England.

"England?" America whispered

"America? But you died. Why are you here. You're supposed to be dead."

Those words hit America full blast. Supposed to be dead.

America had a crazed smiled.

"But I'm here. I survived death. I can't be dead."

"Check again." England replied slowly.

Soon the scene changed and America saw they where in the graveyard. A funereal was taking place.

"W-Who died?"

England chuckled.

"Why you did of course."

America went over to the casket and found his body there. Everyone was crying. All the countries.

America tried to grab their attention but nothing happened.

"The ones alive can not have contact with the dead." England whispered.

"The how are y-you...?"

"Silly boy. I am death himself."

America blinked and England's faced turned into the one of death.

America started to laugh. He chuckled and laughed then screamed. He screamed out of horror. But mostly out of confusion.

America woke up gasping for air. He saw England running towards him.

"America! What happened?! Are you okay?!"

America looked at England and started to struggle to breathe. After calming down a bit he looked at England.

"Will you always be there for me?" He asked.

England looked surprised at the sudden question. He looked America in the eyes and said in the most firm voice,

"I will always be there for you. Rain or shine. I will never leave you alone. Even if I tried I couldn't bear it. I can't help but think about you. Or worry for that matter."

America cried again and started to apologize.

"England I'm sorry... I'm sorry I tried to kill my self... I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay love... I have to change your bandages."

America sighed. He wiped the tears off his face and smiled.

"I've been asleep for that long huh?"

He lifted his shirt up halfway, just enough space for England to take off the bandages. England caught a glance of the stab wound and sighed. He grabbed the first aid kit the doctor gave him and started to open a bottle of nespurin.

He gently rubbed the cream in circular movements on the wound. Every time America winced England would apologize. England then grabbed the roll of bandage and slowly wrapped it around America's stomach.

He then grabbed some pills to ease the pain. He dropped them into a glass of water and gave it to America who got off the bed.

"Did you mean it?" America asked watching the pills fizz bubbles surrounding them.

"Mean what?" England replied putting everything back in the container.

"That you loved me when I was on the verge to death." America replied drinking up the pills.

England sighed and crissed-crossed on the bed.

"What do you think love? Do you really think I'll go around saying I love you to just anyone?"

America made a face after drinking the pills. He sat next to England and smirked.

"Probably not. Iggy you can be a pain at times but I love you."

England rolled his eyes.

"Vice versa love."

America chuckled but moan after feeling pain.

"How long until I'm better?"

"2 months at least."

"At least? Damn..."

"We'll maybe if you don't do such a retarded stunt you wouldn't have to wait 2 months to play...what is it you call it? Football? That's the most ridiculous name for a wussy form of rugby."

America chuckled and started to fall asleep.

"Again? Did you even sleep at the hospital?" England complained.

"No...nighty night."

"It's 4 o'clock in the afternoon."

**HEY HEY HEY! Review blah blah... And for you guys waiting for MTC I will post tommorow or the day after. :3 BYE BYE BYE!**


	5. Chapter 5

America poked his breakfast. It was the pancakes from less than a week ago and he knew it was delicious. He knew he had to eat. He knew what he was supposed to do.

But he didn't do anything.

He just kept poking the pancakes.

"America you git, stop playing with your food."

America sighed, he was hungry. Hell actually he was starving. He hadn't eaten any thing except applesauce, half a burger, and skittles. Mmm...taste the rainbow.

But he didn't feel hungry. Or he didn't have the energy to eat. He shoved the plate away from him and mentally cursed when his stomach growled.

"That's it." England got up from his side of the table and moved his chair next to America. He started to cut up the pancake into pieces and put some syrup on it. He got the fork, picked up a piece, and shoved it in America's mouth.

"Chew."

America started to chew, surprised at England's force.

"Swallow. Now."

America swallowed. His stomach started to hurt but that was because he realized how hungry he was. But he made no effort to retrieve the fork back.

"America you are finishing this pancake." England replied angrily.

America grabbed the fork and started to eat. After finishing the first one he decided to get another one.

England smiled. Finally the arse was eating.

"The person who always nagging me on cutting down on eating wants me to eat. Oh the irony." America laughed.

England sighed and drummed his fingers on the table.

"Hey England. I just realized something."

"Yeah?"

"Before you came I was in misery. Thanks for everything."

England looked at America and smiled.

"No problem old chap."

ooooooooo

America was watching TV with England next to him reading.

"Hey England lets watch a scary movie!"

England tore away from his book and frowned.

"After all we've been through? No."

"But Iggy!"

"America no!"

America frowned but then quickly smiled. He flipped thought the channels until he found a show called American Horror Stories.

"America! I said no scary movies!"

"Exactly! This is a TV show!"

England rolled up a magazine and smacked America.

"Not cool dude!"

England smirked and looked at his watch.

"It's time to change your bandage again."

"Again? Damn." America pulled his T-shirt off and waited for England.

England did the same procedures starting with the removal of the bandages and sometimes ending with the pills. America was only supposed to take them once a day.

"America?"

"Yea?"

"Why where you screaming yesterday?"

America sighed and looked down.

"I had a nightmare."

"Will you share it with me love?"

"...I don't know if I should..."

"America you can tell me anything."

America's eyes widened when he heard England say that. He felt like a child again. He felt small and tiny having to rely on England again.

He then started pouring out his nightmare to England.

ooooooooo

"After all of that I suppose you'll want me to sleep with you."

America smiled weakly.

"You know me so well..."

America went up to his room and laid on his bed. Today the bed felt like soft clouds. These clouds made him relax and sigh in comfort.

He mentally smiled when England flopped next to him.

"Love?" England said his voice on edge.

"Mmhm." America replied.

"Promise me that if you start hearing things tell me." England replied the color almost draining from his face when he looked over America's shoulder.

"Kay." America mumbled placing a kiss on England's cheek before he could stop and think. England's face flushed.

America chuckled and hugged England closer to him.

OooOOooooOoo

America looked down at England's sleeping body his chest moving up and down. America yawned but he couldn't sleep tonight. His mind kept thinking. They where like microchips that work on their own. The kept searching for answers and implying finding clues. They kept placing the clues together afraid if they stopped everything would be lost.

Then America started to hear voices. They were in reality his thoughts and he knew it but they sounded so different. So his brain classified them as voices.

'America...will...fail'

'You are doomed.'

'Look at you're self. Spineless. Worthless. Connected to tubes..."

America started to shake his head. He knew he should tell England but he didn't want to bother him. America grabbed his sketch book and journal and started to write everything on his mind. He drew, scribbled, and wrote all through the night.

OooOOooooOoo

When England woke up he saw crumbled up papers all over him. He turned to America and saw him asleep in a dead tired way holding the journal and sketch book.

England grabbed the sketch book and flipped through the pages. There was a sketch with America in the hospital with tubes but this time he had life support. There was another sketch that had America sitting in a cemetery then another with America in a asylum.

England picked up the journal and saw new poems. One of the shortest ones read,

I hear this voice

I'm sure it's mine

But it's sounds so strange

I'm loosing my mind

England threw the books across the room and grabbed a crumbled paper right next to him. He smoothed it out and started to read it.

Dear Everyone,

I'm going insane.

Sincerely,  
The voice who tells me shit

England looked around and saw the monster. It was an evil creature. So evil and mislead, all the other fairies, pixie, etc. called it the monster. At rare times they call it Disturbance. Disturbance was whispering into America's ears causing the bigger nation to silently whimper. England was furious. He racked his mind for anything to get Disturbance away from America. He should have gotten rid of it last night when he had a chance.

Then he remembered. The only way to get rid of Disturbance was to get rid of the victims grief.

"America love. Wake up." England said shaking America.

America opened his eyes and weakly smiled. "I should see a therapist."

"Oh love. All you need is to calm down." England replied eyeing Disturbance.

Disturbance wasn't an ugly creature. It was vain and evil looking for everything to make it look wonderful to hide its true purpose. The better the disguise the better chance of disturbing the victim.

"Calm down? I dunno if a stupid and useless nation like-"

England made America look him in the eyes.

"America. You are not bloody stupid or useless. You are wonderful. First Nation to land on the moon was you. You are number one in the Olympics medallions. You helped needy countries countries giving $30 billion in foreign aid. You have one of few of the most powerful military on the planet and you use it to help others. You are amazing. Without you the world would probably be in a terrible condition."

America smiled and planted a kiss on England's lips.

"Thanks Britain. That means a lot."

America started to hug England. England smiled and looked at Disturbance. It started to slowly disappear. England smirked and realized maybe...America was actually getting better.

OooOOooooOoo

America flipped through his wooden closet. Today he had to meet the president. It was one of those boring, long ass, monthly meetings. He grabbed a black, neat tux and slipped it on. How he hated monkey suits.

England smiled at how properly dressed America was.

"You sure you want to come Iggy? I'm ok."

"Even if you where feeling better I still would come with you. After all I gotta gauze you up dear."

America snorted. "What happened to love?" He muttered fixing the suit.

"Well love, hurry up. You're not going to be late for your own bloody meeting."

America winced. "Iggy this suit is tight on my wound."

"Then loosen the belt."

"But I don't even wanna wear it!"

"America you are wearing the suit. If it hurts that much then let me do it."

England started to loosen the belt up until America muttered stop.

"Why?"

"I can't always depend on you. After all I am my own." America lied. Truth is he didn't want England's hand going near his belt. Or anywhere near that area.

"Well if you want me treat you like that you bloody wanker then don't do irresponsible stunts."

America chuckled. "Oh and I suppose you're gonna bubble wrap all the knives and guns?"

England didn't even look at America.

"Oh no you didn't... Seriously England?! Ugh. Lets just get this meeting over with."

**Me: Late update... Uh... Sorry... I'll try to make it up! And I am ok! If you're wondering.**

**America: Not so high and mighty now huh!**

**Me: Don't patronize me jackass. What are you even doing here?**

**A: BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!**

**Me: I'm calling England.**

**A: WOOOOOO!**

**Me: you're high aren't you?**

**A: FREAKING PONIES!**

**Me: So sorry you guys had to see that! Terribly sorry for the update and...AMERICA PUT THE VASE DOWN!**

**A: Never!**

**Me: Ugh! I'm a writer not a baby sitter! Well ASTA la pasta you wonderful people!**


	6. Chapter 6

America made way to the office. He smiled his hero like smile and kept babbling about video games.

'Amazing. It's as if the boy wasn't in depression. It's as if it never happened. That stupid git is amazing at hiding his feelings. Bloody wanker.' England thought gears turning in his mind.

If America was this happy right now, when in reality he wasn't yesterday and the week before, then was he lying? England started to wonder how long America was lying to them. How long was the happiness all gone? How long did he feel depressed? It could have been weeks, months, years even.

England gladly pushed all those thoughts out of his head. He started focusing on tightening the emerald colored tie he was wearing

"We're here."

England looked up and gaped at the pure white building. The garden was perfect but covered in dew. The air was foggy and humid but it felt...releaving to the Brit. This land somehow reminded him of his.

The flowers where perfectly aligned and stood out as if to say,

'Look at us! Look at the amazing building we decorate!'

England finally took a good long stare at the white building in front of him. It changed so much since 1814. Of course the only memory he had of this was it burning to the ground and the occasional pictures on the telly.

He smirked when he saw the American flag waving proudly. Showing the Brit that this was American soil. American property.

England rolled his eyes and waited for America to let them in. After awhile England stood at the doors of the precious building. He was going to enter the soul and heart of the country. The building that carried the pride and values of this country. The base of good ol' America.

The White House.

OoooooooooO

England walked inside and whistled. This building was just...wow. The marble checkered floor was flawless and shiny with no spots or specks of dirt. The crystal chandelier was lit and shone brightly. There was 2 flags next to the entrance. A lint free red rug was laid across the floor. If the country could be judged by this room then what a perfect country this was.

"Like what ya' see?" America replied smirking.

"No you git. I'm just being respectful. It's not like I would purposely complement your architecture or national symbolism." England muttered in a failing serious voice.

"Yadda yadda yadda. Lets take a tour!" America replied happily.

"You nitwit! We're here for a meeting!"

"Correction I'm here for a meeting. You're just visiting." America retorted.

America grabbed England by the wrist and lead him to the green room.

"BEHOLD! MY BOSS GREEN ROOM!" America bellowed but slightly wincing in pain at his stomach.

"Careful git. Why did you bring me here anyways?" England replied eyeing the green room.

It had silk drapes and portraits of famous people all over the walls. It had a nice cupboard with fine china in it and an emerald green rug with red circular decorations. There where green and red chairs along with a small table. There was also a small white fireplace with golden old fashioned clocks on top.

"Well I figure you'd like it. We use this room for small receptions with some random important people and this is pretty much our tea time room."

"Tea time?" England replied.

"Yeah. James Madison also declared war on you guys in this room but then ya' burned it down along with the rest of the rooms." America tutted.

"Shut it git. I couldn't just entertain the queen while we went to war with each other again." England growled hitting America in the back of the head.

America smirked. "Maybe I'll invite you to tea one day. Ah probably not i don't drink that crap. C'mon lets go to the red room!" America quickly rushed out of the room. England followed but stopped when he heard a small chuckle. He turned and saw the ghost of Abe Lincoln reading a book and smiling right at him.

"Why hello Mr. President. I'm surprised to see you here." England said happily.

"Same here. Never thought I'd see you here." Lincoln replied smiling. He put the book down and walked up to England.

"Listen m'boy. America is a good hearted man but you gotta keep an eye on him. Remember most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. So take good care of him." Lincoln replied putting a hand on England's shoulder.

"Hey Iggy! I'm waiting- Why are you smiling?" America yelled.

"Huh? Oh I saw a dead presidents ghost that's all." England replied as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"G-GHOST?! C'MON IGGY! LETS MAKE LIKE ITALIANS AND VAMMOOS!" America screamed.

"Slow down git!" England growled.

OooooO

"A-And this is the r-red room..." America sputtered.

"Are you seriously still scared? Ugh America." England replied flipping his head to the right.

"Anyways this room is red...uh...oh yeah! It's for music and parlor purposes!" America announced flopping on a red chair.

England just stood admiring the 1818 Empire mantel of the fire place and the small bust of perhaps a president. He traced his hands over the soft material used for the chairs.

"Go ahead! You can sit down. It's not like Obama minds or whatever." America said sucking on a lollipop he got from his pocket.

England gently sat down all proper and gentleman like.

America got up from his chair and stretched, wincing.

"Try not to harm yourself you bloody git." England mumbled.

"What happened to love? Anyways I gotta show you the blue room."

"Fine. And anyways you bloody git it's not like we're in a relationship. I don't have to call you love. Just because I said I love you and said I meant it doesn't mean anything."

America's face fell but he quickly hid it. So England lied to him? he loved America but at the same time didn't care? What? But they kissed. They even slept in the same bed for fucks sake. He walked up to England and grabbed his wrist harder then usual.

"Well of course not. What are we gay? C'mon lets go to the blue room." America replied forcefully.

"You bloody git! Let go of my arm before it turns blue from the lack of blood circulation!" England yelled.

America just stared at England in the eyes with patience. He let go but continued to stare daring England to look away.

"America. Stop harassing that man. You're 10 minutes late for a meeting anyways. Who's this?" A familiar voice chuckled.

America sighed and crossed his arms.

"England, Mr. President."

Obama smiled.

"Ah. So this is the man we owe your lack of attention to? A pleasure." Obama replied shaking England's hand firmly while America stood jaw dropped.

"I beg your pardon?" England replied annoyed.

"I'm sorry but I didn't purposely meant to offend you. You see America is always thinking about you. Why just a month ago he was sleeping in the middle of a meeting mumbling your name several times."

"I DIDN'T DO THAT!" America yelped his face burning red with embarrassment.

Obama folded his arms and had a look on his face that read, 'Don't make me bring out the security video tapes from last month.'

America struggled for the correct words, threw his hand out in defeat and frustration, then stormed out the room.

Obama smiled and turned to England.

"So how did you like the tour? Any highlights?"

"It was a wonderful tour. Thank you. And was that comment true?" England asked sheeply.

"Lets just say America really needs to go to that meeting. No worries." Obama reassured.

England nodded not very pleased with this answer.

OooooO

England stood on the wall refusing any chairs that where offered. He kept his eyes on America making sure everything was going well.

"America, there was some trouble in the economy a few days ago. Luckily we where able to cover it up and put things back to 'normal'. So the question on are minds lately was...what happened?" Obama replied all trace of visible cheer lost replaced with seriousness and authority.

America fiddled with his fingers trying to stall. He looked at the presidents faced and sighed.

"Nothing of importance really." America whispered hoarsely.

"America don't you lie to me. If you are sick that's when this economy is sick. If your happy that's when the economy is slowly getting better. Something must have happened for the economy to almost disappear in one day!"

America looked up and smiled weakly.

"You're right. But the past is the past. If you need to know so badly though... I attempted suicide."

The meeting room was silent the words echoing faintly. Everyone looked at America in shock. Obama gripped his pen.

America's smile quickly was wiped off. He stared dully at everyone in the room.

"Well I already am late. So lets start the meeting."

OooooO

America started driving back to his house with England. He turned on the radio and smiled when he heard a good song come up. He turned up the volume and started to sing.

And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't wanna go home right now

England looked at America in surprise. What was he implying?

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

When sooner or later it's over

I just don't wanna miss you tonight

England thought about how ironic that this song was played in America and it being one of the best rock songs in the UK. He sighed as America continued to sing, tapping the steering wheel.

And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

England almost choked on air. So he was in a closet case. he hid from everyone? Those lines...did they mean that America was possibly lying those times he smiled?

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

Lies... What truth was in the lies that America spread. That is if he lying. Bleed to know if you're alive? What bull shit. He started to bleed because he wanted to die.

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

England looked out at the window tears dripping from his eyes. He knew America...right?

America stopped singing and saw England looking the opposite direction.

"Iggy are you alright?" He whispered.

"Honestly? No. But what would you care? After all you've been lying to us. To everyone." England whispered back.

"What are you talking about?"

"America I'm not an idiot. I know you've been faking happiness! How long have you been lying?! How long!?" England practically yelled, tears streaming down his pale face.

"Long enough for you not to understand. Long enough to hide myself and question my identity. Long enough so... You would never find out. Long enough for you to forget." He mumbled.

England stopped crying and looked at America.

"But you are getting better right?" He said his voice breaking.

America refused to look England in the eye and continued driving.

"ANSWER ME!"

America looked at England and replied,

"I would love to say yes but honestly... I don't know.

oooooooooo

**Me: You guys crack me up with your reviews. You guys rock. Oh and...IGGY YOU MORON! TELLING AMERICA YOU LOVE HIM AND THEN SAYING IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING! AND AMERICA! WHY YOU SO THICK HEADED?!**

**A: It's your fault.**

**E: Sadly he has a point. Bloody hell Angie you're making the readers confused.**

**Me: And now they know my name. Shut up before you tell them anything personal. Or else I will throw you to your undying fangirls**

**E&A: As if.**

**Me: OH FANGIRLS! I GOT AN AMERICAN AND A BRIT! $10! Do I hear $10? $50 dollars! Going once! Going twice! $100 dollars! Going-**

**A: OH CRAP! GOODBYE!**

**Me: They'll be yours! Just start bidding *winks***

**E: Have a nice day while we try not to be sold like iPods on eBay!**


	7. Chapter 7

America sat on the couch in silence. England grabbed the first aid kit and some water. He silently grabbed the gauze and patiently waited for America to lift his shirt up. After waiting with no outcome he sighed and took off America'a shirt off. America didn't say anything.

England unwrapped the old gauze bandages and inspected the wound. It was getting better no doubt. He looked at the old bandages. Tiny flakes of blood where there but not as big as the first few times.

England squeezed the tube of Nespurin and started to gently rub it around and on the wound making America wince a bit. England didn't even apologize and America didn't care.

He grabbed the new gauze bandage and started to wrap it around America's body. He gave the glass of water with the pill in it and started to clean up. America drank the water and stared at England.

"Are you mad at me?" He asked.

England sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why would I be mad at you? I'm just stressed you git." He grumbled.

America shrugged.

"If your so stressed take a break. I'm old enough to wrap around my own bandages."

England sighed and looked at the time. Eleven PM and they didn't have dinner yet. England went to the fridge and tossed an apple at America and grabbed another for himself.

"What's this?"

"Dinner."

America sighed. He started to munch on the apple. What a delicious dinner. At least it wasn't that scone that tasted like couch stuffing.  
-7:00pm  
When America woke up he saw England heading to the door.

"Where are you going?"

"Ah. America. You've been asleep for a long time. Anyways I'm going to the bar with France, Spain, Prussia, and Canada."

"Oh."

"I'll stay though."

"No it's ok. I'll stay by myself."

"If you want you can come." England replied slowly.

America laughed and clutched his stomach,

"To do what? Get drunk and relive this hell? Iggy you crack me up."

Once he heard the closing of the door Anerica sighed.

America walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed an orange. He grabbed a knife, unwrapped the bubble wrap, and started peeling. He went a little fast because then he cut his finger.

"Oh shit!"

He started sucking on the finger and cursed. Ok so maybe he needed England.

0000

America cursed when the red word GAME OVER flashed across the screen.

"This time Tony back me up." He muttered pressing play.

"Fucking Bitch." Tony muttered and dropped the controller heading to the kitchen.

"Aw c'mon Tony!"

GIMME MORE HAMBURGER!

America got up and reluctantly picked up the phone.

"Sup. You've reached the most heroic and best country in the world. America speaking."

"Ah! Monsieur L'Amerique! My what a wonderful landscape-"

America rolled his eyes at France's tone. Obviously something went wrong.

"Cut the shit France. What did Iggy do this time."

"He's drunk. And I can't take him home because I have Spain, Canada, and Prussia on my hands..."

"So he's my responsibility?"

"Oui. Your words not mine. See you soon mon ami!"

America groaned and slipped on a hoodie. England was so gonna get it.

OoOoOoOoOO

America walked into the bar and headed to the table. Canada eagerly ran to him and jumped on him like a child.

"COME ON AMERICA! GIVE ME A PIGGYBACK RIDE!"

"You're drunk aren't you?" America mumbled at Canada annoyed. He just missed his game so he wasn't in the mood for anything.

"-hiccup- yeah! Hey America how many tourists from Florida visited Big Ben? Ya get what I'm saying?"

"What are you...OH SHIT PRUSSIA YOUR DEAD!" America yelled. He raised his hand at the smirking Prussia.

"ALFRED! Prussiadidntteachmethatjoke! I learned it myself! Don't hurt him!" Canada screamed.

America bit his lip. Even if his brother wasn't crying he couldn't have punched Prussia. It would inflict some pain on America's wound.

America looked hard at Canada who was crying. The tears were streaming down his face faster than Niagara falls.

"Don't ever drink unless I know about it. And I don't want you making perverted jokes like that Mattie. You're fucking better than that." America replied sourly.

Canada slowly stopped crying and threw his arms around America.

"IPROMISEJUSTDONTHURTPRUSSIAILOVEHIM! ANDIWANTMOREBEER! BWAHHHHH!"

"Damn it Mattie, you're not getting anymore beer." America grumbled.

"The stupid America has a point. You're not really a drinker. What's up America? You're usually happy when you're at a bar." Prussia mumbled. He threw a bottle of strong beer at America.

"Shut it Prussia. Where's England?" America growled catching the beer.

"Oh Ja. Ja. Your boyfriend. He's in Francey panties' car."

"He's not my boyfriend you jackass. And what's with the nickname Francey Panties?"

"I liked it better when we were in the hospital. You wouldn't yell at me. The dudes got a bit carried away tonight." Prussia replied smirking holding up a bottle of beer.

America grumbled some curse words and walked to the car.  
000000

"Come on England!" America yelled pulling on England'a legs trying to get him out of the car.

"Nuh-uh! Go away poopy head! Baka!" England yelled back.

America frowned and pulled out a beer bottle.

"I got some beer!"

"Ok!"

00000000

England glomped on America and smiled.

"Ugh. Dude you reek of booze. And get off of me. I'm driving."

"America. You smell like coffee and...and...and...oh yeah! Coffee."

America rolled his eyes and sighed.

"America guess what?" England giggled.

America groaned and said,

"What?"

"I'm gay."

America stopped the car and thanked god he was near a parking lot.

"Ok. S-So?" He sputtered. Stupid drunk England.

"Do you know who I'm gay for? Hm?" He whispered.

America's body tightened and he let took in a sharp breath.

"Who?" He mumbled his eyes closed.

The air seemed to get heavier. everything was quiet. England grabbed America's hoodie by the collar and pulled him close.

"You poppet."

00000000

**E: when have I ever used the word poppet?**

**Me: your 2p uses it. a lot. And plus this is my fic. **

**E: Whatever. **

**A: Woo! I beat level one in the worlds hardest game ever!**

**E: And?**

**A: well our author can't get past level one now can she?**

**Me: I hate you guys...anyways... TIME FOR BIDDING STATUS UPDATE!**

**E: You actually made a sold?**

**A: OMFG.**

**Me: Yep! So AnimeApprentice you get England for that multi chapter story! Can't wait!**

**E: WHAT?!**

**A: HEY IGGY BELONGS TO ME**

**E: I DO NOT YOU BLOODY GIT!**

**Me: Oh shut up. Here ya go! *gives Iggy to Anime Apprentice***

**A: I hate you.**

**Me: Calm down. There's gonna be a screen thingy in case he wants to appear at the end of this fic.**

**E: *appears in screen* ANGIE I WILL KILL YOU**

**Me: You belong to AnimeApprentice so shut it. Bye! Oh and I still have an American left! One more thing! Thank you for everyone who reviewed, followed, and favorite. And sadly my updates will be slower. School. Sorry!**


	8. Chapter 8

America just looked at England when he heard that.

"Are you lying? Your lying aren't you." America whispered.

"Why would I lie?" England slurred.

"Because you said that when you where sober and denied it when you where sober." America replied.

"Duh. But I didn't mean it. America you're so silly!" England giggled.

"Yeah. Silly."

England frowned.

"You don't believe me?! Bullshit! I only said that cause I was embarrassed! I mean seriously! who wants to admit they're gay! Here I'll show you!"

England placed his lips on America's. America sat there wide eyed while England kissed him. America slowly sunk into submission. America wrapped his arms around England and kissed back.

England entered his tongue into the American's mouth catching America by surprised. America soon entered his tongue into England's mouth. When their tongues would meet America tensed a bit while England just kept going. Exploring and tasting each other's mouths, America pushed their faces closer. Little moans and groans were heard here and there.  
There was no battle for dominance. It was just love.

England started to run his hands around America's chest and lower. America winced at the sudden contact with his bandage.

"Sorry love."

"It's fine..."

Until America realized, correction remembered, England was drunk. So it was not fine.

Which means that made America taking advantage of him. Something a hero would never do.

America broke apart from England and started the car. England crossed his hands and cursed.

"You stupid git." He murmured. America ignored that comment and turned up the radio. What a night.

O0oO0oO0oO0o

When America walked into his room he grabbed his beer bottle and drank the half the thing. The cold beer was relieving a bit. He stretched his arm and collapsed on his bed. He sighed and kept on drinking the bottle.

Right now it was the only thing from making him go mad.  
oooooooooo

England angrily (and drunkenly) paced the room. That stupid American had broke them apart.

"Might as well go into the git's room. That arse."

England walked upstairs and unlocked the door. Sometimes being an ex-pirate was a good thing. America laid sprawled on the bed asleep. England then made his way to the bed.  
OoooooOoooO

America laid on the bed with England next to him. England smiled, gripped America's face, and kissed him again just like in the car. Nice, passionately, and with love. But the funny thing was that England didn't taste like alcohol.

And this time though America didn't break apart. And also they where on a bed.

England climbed on top of America and grinned. England slowly started to unbutton the American's shirt and rested his head on America's bare chest.

"Who's topping, love?" England asked saying the word love with a much more stronger british accent.

"Whoever you want." America replied.

England smirked and whispered,

"Well let's find out shall we?"

He slowly started to unbutton his own shirt. He took of his pants and did the same with the American.

"Get ready." England cooed lustfully.

O0oO0oO0oO0o

America woke up as if he woken up from a nightmare, a real sexy one, and sat up on his bed. He huffed and puffed, breathing heavily but also made sure he didn't have a nose bleed. He calmed down and reminded himself it was just a dream. He looked at his wound and smiled. His wound hadn't cause him any problems last night and it seemed to get better. He chuckled and when he turned around to get off he yelped.

What the hell was England doing sleeping in his bed?

America groaned and shook his head. He clearly remembered locking the door and sleeping alone. He was a bit pleased actually, but was pissed off. But did this mean that the dream was real...? Nononononono! First off America had his pants on. Secondly The bed would probably be more dirty...

Anyways when America looked at England he frowned a bit. This dude had said yes, denied everything, and then confessed again. And the worse part? He looked so innocent in his sleep!

America poke England and then started to shake him.

"What the bloody hell...WHAT AM I DOING IN YOUR BED?! He yelled.

"Naw shit Sherlock I was wondering the same thing." America replied sticking his tongue out.

England's eye twitched. He bit his lip and sighed.

"What happened last night?"

"Uh...what do you mean?"

"We'll obviously I wouldn't be in your bed unless I did something to make me do this."

America smiled weakly and sighed.

"Well you see..."

OooOOooooOoo

England was shivering under the covers while America had his head rested against his arm.

"So England make up your mind. You love me or not?" America replied in a monotone voice.

England looked up from the covers and said,

"What's that supposed to mean you git?"

"Seriously? I wanna smack you so bad right now. You tell me you love me when I'm fucking dying, confirm it, then tell me you were lying, then tell me your gay for me! Male up your goddamn mind!"

"Now listen hear you git! I never said I was lying!"

"And quote, "We aren't in a relationship!"

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN I DONT LOVE YOU YOU FUCKING BLOODY ARSE!"

"YOU SAID IT DOSENT MEAN ANYTHING!"

England put a pillow on his face and screamed while America realized how stupid they where acting.

"We sound like an old married couple." America mumbled.

"Don't say that. Some people actually enjoy the relations they are in."

"Well Mr. I Can't Make Up My Fucking Mind make your decision. You're final one." America growled

England gave him a cold stare and growled back,

"What do you think you suicidal arse?"

America smirked and folded his arms.

"Well since you are in my bed, and you did make out with me, you slept with me, and you did take care of me. I'll say...Yes."

England grabbed his pillow and snaked him in the face.

"You know very well I don't express my feelings like you Americans."

"I'm not hearing a no!" America taunted sticking his tongue out.

Then the national British anthem started to play.

"Phhssst. Nice ringtone Iggy."

England groaned and answered the phone.

"Who is it?"

"Angleterra! Bonjour!"

"Frog I'm busy."

"Aren't you always? So how was last night? Hangover set in?"

"Surprisingly no."

"Anything interesting happened?"

England gaped for a second and turned to America who replied, rather loudly,

"What?"

"Ohonhonhon was that America? Are you perhaps-"

"Say one word and ill tear your face off you bloody frog."

"Pass me to America."

England clutched his phone and hesitated. He passed his phone to America and got out of the bed, embarrassed when he found out he only had boxers on.

America whistled, teasing England.

"America speaking. What up Frenchie?"

"Hello America. What happened last night?" Canada said.

"Canada? I thought France-"

"He gave me the phone. Listen I just woke up with a major hangover and in the same bed with Prussia,"

What a coincidence. Both twin brothers had someone to sleep with.

"-So it be real nice if you gave me some answers."

"You where drunk, you made some jacked up jokes... And that's it. That's all I know. I woke up next to a drunk England." America replied covering his eyes with his left hand.

"Uh ok...PRUSSIA GIVE THE PHONE BACK!" Canada loudly whispered.

"Sorry birdie! But this not awesome phone is mine! Hello America! Heard vhat happened."

"Did you mess with my brother?" America growled.

"No you bastard. I just slept vith him."

America swore he could see Prussia sticking his tongue out.

America mumbled some curse words and groaned.

"Shut it you german dog. Pass me back to Canada."

"Vhatever you say Hamburger fucker."

America resisted the urge to smash the phone against the wall and tear it apart with his chainsaw. He smiled when he heard Canada's voice.

"Maple...should I be surprised this happened?"

"Er...not really no."

-more txt_

America got out off the bed and slipped on a tee leaving his pajamapants on. He headed towards the door while England was two feet away from him studying the wardrobe.

America smirked and pinched England's ass.

"Gah! You bloody wanker what the hell was that for?!" England yelled his face turning deep red.

"For everything you did. Now if you excuse me, I gotta make breakfast." America replied.

**A: I would never! And that dream! It's ah I can't I-**

**Me: uh huh sure. what are you still doing here? America you're supposed to-**

**A: Keep this fic awesome. Do you even have a story ending for this?**

**Me: ya. It's where you end up a girl and never drink coke again. Now hush up before I actually make that happens**

**A: as if**

**Me: I'm sending you to the therapist**

**A: WHAT NO**

**Me: too bad. SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE! Feels like it...**

**A: You offended me!**

**Me: You don't count.**

**A: MEANIE!**

**Me: AMY KITTY KATZ YOU GET AMERICA!**

**A: oh shut up you're annoying too...WAIT WHAT?!**

**Me: not a lot! And haha! No more abuse of the fourth wall!**

**A: damn you.**

**Me: I get that a lot. And in four days it's almost my bday! WOO THE 28! Anyways Bye bye!**


	9. Chapter 9

America munched on his 4th slice of toast and headed for his 3rd egg and 7th strand of crispy bacon. When he looked up he saw England staring at his food in deep thought. America gulped.

Pinching someone's ass wasn't that offense...was it?

"England what's wrong?" America said uneasily. There was a period of silence until England looked up.

"Hm? Oh nothing America... I'm just thinking that's all." He replied taking a bite of his toast.

"Whatcha thinking about." America said noisily.

"Nothing that you should worry about."

This ticked America off a bit. So of course he spoke back. Then again this was a conversation...

"C'mon Iggy. I'm not a little kid anymore. You can tell me. After all Im the hero!"

England stared at America as if the boy was still a freaking 10 year old. But the way you stared at a 10 year old when you wanted to ask a serious question but knew it was useless.

"What kind of world do you think we live in?" He said plainly.

"Wha-"

"Answer. If your so eager in participating answer the question."

"Um... A pretty good world. Sure life has its ups and downs but we live in an ok place...why?"

Another awkward silence. It was so silent you could probably hear Germany training Italy for the next World War.

"Is that what you where thinking when you took care of South Korea for a little while?"

"Kinda I guess."

South Korea? What did he have to do with anything? Sure America took a little bit of his time to care for him but what did that gave to do with anything?

"How about, lets say, the Pearl Harbor Bombing? Or the Hiroshima attack WWII?"

Now that question really struck America.

"...What are you implying?"

"I'm not implying anything really just ah...wondering...if everything good has balanced everything bad...or if everything good is already out balanced." England said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Dude you're blending my mind up."

"What I'm trying to say is... I think I know the real reason you tried suicide."

"Well...I'm all ears... So...shoot."

"You said it was because you wanted to get off the others back, you where going to die anyway, because you claimed you were useless... But I think that you figured that because you were 'dying' your world along with its surroundings were dying..."

"Continue."

"And you figured that you where right. You figured that if you die you would not only 'get off others back' but maybe stop or fix some suffering. Am I wrong?"

"..."

"Well?"

"Yes and no. I wasn't thinking about that when I had the knife. Some would probably say I wasn't even thinking at all. I was only thinking about myself at the time but then I started question myself when I was in the hospital. I thought maybe...it actually could have helped. Guess you can say...Blessing in disguise?"

"B-Blessing? America you dare don't say things like that." England sputtered.

"Hm... Ok then. Well I'm still waiting for an answer." America replied impatiently.

"For what?"

"You know."

"My final answer...would be...do I have to?" England complained.

America smiled really smug.

"Yup."

"Then my final answer is-"

RING RING

"Fuck!" America growled. So close yet so far.

"Yello' hero speaking...Hey Canada what's up?...You sure you're ok? Cause if Prussia's bothering you..."

England chuckled and collected the plates. He headed to the dishwasher and squirted some green soap on the sponge. He started to hum his national anthem.

America hanged up and saw England on his phone doing who know what.

America smirked and looked at England his head resting on his arm.

"So...?"

"Mmm...You have to gain what you want." England simply replied heading to the couch, turning off his device.

Now America didn't like that answer. He knew what it meant and he sighed.

That is until he caught a really good glimpse of England.

He didn't mean to stare but he just couldn't keep his eyes off of England. The gentleman had picked a dark green oversized shirt that showed his somewhat pale shoulders. The fucking shirt was so big England didn't need to wear pants and it went up to his knees.

No pants huh...

America groaned and hit his head against the table.

"Don't you have your own clothes?"

"Nope they're all dirty..." England said looking at the bookcase. He started tip toeing trying to get a book on the top shelf. He barely got the book and looked at the title.

"American inventions...of course."

He put it back and started to try and get another book.

America put his face in his hands and sighed. Something about what England was doing made him look more feminine and...well...adorable.

America got up and grabbed the book for England.

"Don't patronize me you bloody git."

"Dude I'm only like 2cm taller than you."

England stomped out towards the couch.

America smirked and rolled his eyes.

"You're welcome!... Whatever." Alfred chuckled. Whatever indeed.

**Woo! Short I know...anyways...  
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! I LOVE YOU GUYS! YOU ROCK! HAVE VIRTUAL CAKE!**


	10. Chapter 10

America flipped through the TV channels and sighed.

"Nothing...Nada...Zilch...Spongebob...No way- WAIT! Spongebob?!" America pressed go on his remote and started singing along to the theme song.

England facepalmed and groaned.

"Aren't you a little too old to be watching Spongebob."

America laughed and wiped a tear from his eyes.

"Wait you're serious?"

England put a hand on his hips and had a look that read,

'Don't be a bloody jackass of course I'm serious.'

America would have paid more attention if the Brit wasn't in such a pose...GAH!

America grabbed a pillow and buried his face in it.

"I'mamnottoooldtowatchSpongebob!" He yelled quickly. Why was he checking England out?!

"America what am I going to do with you?"

America thought for a second and shrugged.

"Uh...hey England?"

"Yes?"

"Are you wearing any pants under that shirt?" In which England tried hard not to throw a hard covered book at the bigger nation.

"What are you french?!" He growled. America just chuckled and continued watching Spongebob.  
Ooooooo

America sighed when he saw the commercials. Right now there was one on depression relief pills. America smirked and turned of the TV. He laid on the couch and started to think.

Technically speaking England was America's drug. England kept America in a pretty good mood but he was starting to get an 'overdose' of England. And too much England could cause him problems...emotion problems...

America grabbed the pillow again and put it on top of his face. He started screaming,

"I like England! I like England! That...that...DRUG!"

Over and over again. America sighed and threw the pillow away. He got up and walked into the kitchen. He grabbed a knife and started slicing the apple he was going to eat. He placed the knife down and popped the apple slices into his black hole of a mouth.

He grabbed another apple and did the same. He walked over to the bookshelf with the apple slices in his hand. Unsatisfied he then walked to the dining table and sat down staring at the empty room.

He sighed when there was nothing to do and walked up to his room. He looked in and saw a sleeping England. America faintly smiled and walked over to England. He properly tucked England in and fluffed the pillow for England's comfort. America smiled at his work.

He was about to leave until he decided to place a small kiss on England's cheek. America smiled at the thought that this was what England would do when he was a child.

America quietly got out of the room and silently closed the door.  
Ooooooooo

England looked around. He was sitting crissed crossed in a dark place. He sighed.

"Cripes. Looks like I'm having another dream." He muttered.

Soon a scene appeared. England smiled when he saw it was the memory with America as a child. He reached out to feel the image in front of him but realized he was stuck. So he just sat there and stared.

England was playing with America in the memory. They were playing with the toy soldiers America had gotten as a gift. Soon a man appeared out of nowhere and started to talk to England. The real England couldn't hear what was happening in the dream. So he just sat there trying to read their lips.

Memory England slowly nodded and turned to America. America's face fell and he started to cry. England picked America up and started to whisper in America'a ear. America smiled and slowly nodded as if to understand. America placed a kiss on England's cheek and jumped out of his arms. England seemed to sigh and started to grab his Pirate hat. The real England angrily looked at the memory in front if him.

"You bloody jackass! Don't leave him!" He yelled furiously. But alas you simply cannot change the past. Even in your dreams.

Soon the memory fast forward to two months. America was looking out the window crying. The real England looked confused.

'I never remembered seeing America cry...'

It seemed as if the boy was in prayer crying furiously as more tears ran down his face. Soon his mouth worded the word Amen and he crawled back to bed. Then memory England slowly walked into the room. America turned around and ran to England hugging him and laughing. England pat the boy on the head and placed him back in bed. England started to tell him a story waving his arms in the air and laughing. America just smiled. England stopped story telling and gave America a goodnight hug.

Soon the memory disappeared and in faded a new one. This was when America was a teenager. England and America where fighting. The real England groaned.

"Not this again..." He grumbled.

America pointed his finger at England yelling at him, while England threw his hands in the air screaming back at him. England then started pacing around the room screaming other things. America angrily threw his musket to the ground and stomped out of the room. England slowly sat on the arm chair placing his head in his palms, small tears running down his face.

The real England couldn't hear the audio but he still remembered what America had yelled at him. And what he yelled back.

'_I'm not a little kid anymore! Just shut up!'_

_'You're my colony and my younger brother and that's all you'll ever be! Now shut the fuck up and do as your told you spoiled brat!'_

_'If I'm a brat why am I paying ridiculous taxes?!'_

_'Because I order you to, America! You serve the mighty british empire! you belonged to Great Britain ever since you were founded and you will stay that way! And there's nothing you can do about it!'_

England sighed and looked at the memory. It brought back so many mixed emotions. He looked up and realized the memory seemed to stop at the part at where he was in the arm chair. England looked at the memory closer and saw the door was cracked open a bit. And behind that door was America. But why does he seem so...regretful?

Then just like the first the memory faded again and turned into one that happened not so long ago. It was WWII and America was cleaning up the board. England had tapped America on the back who jumped slightly before realizing it was England. America looked a bit bothered but covered it up with a smile. England had his arms crossed nodding his head now and then, waving his hand when he talked, and pointing at the world map on the table.

America did most of the talking, pointing at various points on the map and sliding his finger to other parts. England would trace the movements with a pen if he agreed. America sighed and looked at England. He said some words which made England tilt his head in confusion.

America just started laughing and shrugging it off. At the time England didn't take too much heed of the laugh but now he realized the laugh seemed more...fake.

America started to silently walk out of the room. England finished cleaning the board. He grabbed the map and walked out of the room. The real England sighed. This dream was beginning to annoy him.

He got up and started walking around the black room. But when he tried taking one step he couldn't move. He sat back down and stared at the black emptiness in front of him. Soon another memory appeared. It was the most recent one.

England was in the hospital room with America reading him the poem. This time England could hear every word. But... It wasn't the poem he had read to him. This was a different poem.

_Death is nothing at all.  
I have only slipped away into the next room.  
I am I, and you are you.  
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.  
Call me by my old familiar name,  
speak to me in the easy way which you always used.  
Put no difference in your tone,  
wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.  
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.  
Pray, smile, think of me, pray for me.  
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,  
let it be spoken without effect,  
without the trace of a shadow on it.  
Life means all that it ever meant.  
It is the same as it ever was;  
there is unbroken continuity.  
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?  
I am waiting for you,  
for an interval,  
somewhere very near,  
just round the corner.  
All is well._

America smiled and closed the book. America opened his mouth to speak and recited another poem.

_Not only for what you are, but for  
what I am when I'm with you,  
I Love You  
For the part of me that you bring out,  
I Love You  
For putting your hand into my heaped-up heart  
and passing over all the foolish, weak things  
that you can't help dimly seeing there,  
and for drawing out into the light  
all the beautiful belongings that no one else  
had looked quite far enough to find.  
I Love You  
because you are helping me to  
make of the lumber of my life not a tavern but a temple;  
out of the works of my every day not a reproach,  
but a song . . ._

England looked at the scene playing in front of him. Those poems...where where they from? England kept repeating the words over and over. He looked up and saw light. The light grew stronger and stronger until England had to close his eyes.  
Ooooooooo

"YO! ENGLAND! Wake up man! Wakey Wakey eggs and bacey!"

England woke up and saw an desperate American staring at him.

"What you git? I was sleeping."

"Yeah. For like a day and a half."

"WHAT?!" England shot out of bed lightning fast.

"Calm down dude. It's no biggie. And I made breakfast! So come on!"  
**-oooooooooooo**

**Better? Yes? No? Eh?**

**THIS IS FUCKING IMPORTANT:  
What are the names of Iggy's siblings?**

**This is all I know:**

**Scottie: Allistor  
Wales: Dylan(?)**

**I need:  
Northern Ireland (Girl)  
Ireland**

**This is for that story I owe Mortis Bane... Anyways Here ye are! Bye guys! Good night! (Dressing room is a good song :3)**


	11. Chapter 11

"What is all of this?" England asked. He had changed from the over sized shirt into something smaller and some jeans. Of course they didn't fit perfectly, but they had to do.

"Breakfast!" America said motioning his arm in front of the table.

It had a blue plaid table cloth with white clean plates. The plates carried freshly baked waffles and a pitcher of orange juice was near the middle. In the middle was a green vase of red roses.

"Remember how you said I had to earn your love? Well tada Mr. Gentleman!" America laughed.

England stood there shocked. What the hell...was he actually serious? He did all of this just for him? Oh shit he was serious! Of course England had no problem with that...

England faintly smiled and sat down in his chair.

"Thank you America..." He murmured grabbing the knife and fork and slowly starting to slice the waffle.

"Yup! You're welcome! So how about now? Am I closer to winning the tea loving heart of yours?" America yelled happily.

"...You won something all right." England muttered a bit annoyed with the question. Was he really asking this now?

"Which is...?"

"This." England smugly poured his glass of juice on the American

"I am quite fed up of your asking dear." England replied smoothly, leaving the American's hair smelling like oranges and sticky.

"Ah.. So we're playing dirty? Ok then..." America grabbed the pitcher and threw the juice at England.

"YOU BLOODY WANKER! EAT WAFFLES!" England yelled throwing the waffles at America.

"Haha you miss- OW!" The last one hit America square in the face. America stumbled into the kitchen with England following.

"Damn it! Oh yeah?! Well you want your eggs scrambled or gooey?!"

"Gooey? What the bloody- AMERICA YOU BLOODY JACKASS!" England yelled as an egg landed on his face. Soon England grabbed another egg carton and it was chaos. Poor eggs.

When they ran out America grabbed the bag of powder. England, finding no bag of powder, picked up a bag of sugar and they started throwing the ingredients all over the place. America laughed, his apron, clothes,and face covered in white powder, eggs, and sugar. England laughed with him, covered in eggs and white powder. Unlike America he hadn't decided to get the remains of his chosen ingredient and pour it all over himself, hence the lack of sugar. Unless you counted his hands.

America stopped laughing and listened to the happy brit. America smiled. He expected a faint smile for out of the planned breakfast, but instead received a happy England for a misshapen morning. At least he made England happy.

England stopped laughing and looked at America. He grabbed a dish towel rag, wet it, and walked up to America.

"Here. America hold still. I'm getting the powder out of your face." England said in a soothing calm voice.

America continued to squirm but stopped after a bit. England wiped the powder from the area surroundings America's eyes and started to stare. He never noticed that America's eyes where this blue. He kept on staring until he realized he was a few millimeters away from America's face. England shook it off hastily and washed off America's face.

America grabbed the dishtowel and started cleaning England smooth pale face.

"Hm..." America hummed tracing his finger on England's cheek.

"What?" England replied surprisingly not doing anything about it.

"You're skin is soft." America mumbled inching their faces closer again.

"So...?" England asked debating on backing away or staying put.

America ignored the last part and placed a kiss on the cheek. It was small, simple, and sweet. England tensed a bit.

"Hmm... It is soft... Really soft..." America replied.

England stood there in a still expression, eyes widen, and stiff.

America looked at England for a second until realization spread across his face.

"Aw man! I'm so sorry England! Gah! This is-"

"America."

"Wait...what?"

"Just do me a favor and shut up for a second. Ok?"

"O-"

"Shut it."

"..."

For a moment they just stared at each other. Then England sighed and went to the living room. America followed happily plopping on the couch and staring at the ceiling. England rolled his eye and went upstairs. England ended up in America's room. He sighed and started to pick up the clothes on the floor. He went downstairs and was going to head to the laundry room until he found America laying on the couch. The thing was he was acting lifeless.

England slowly walked up to America and kneeled next to him.

"America? America? Wake up... America?!"

England then started to think. Yesterday he was asleep and America was supposed to change his bandages and...take the pill! That bloody git didn't take the pill! England hurried to the phone and cursed.

"America you idiot!" He mumbled.

"Uh hello? Ma'am I have an unconscious man with me...the address is 4587 NW...uh... New York City...and the zip?...He's unconscious damn it! Just trace the call!"

England started pacing around the room. What was he going to do now? Just wait?

Late update...heh...fail.

Thank You Amy Kitty Katz for the names.

But I have good news depending on weather you like my writing/ideas.

I'm typing up 3 new stories, yes one of them is something I owe..., and I'm going to make a fourth one but either in comic form, story form, or both. So yeah...


	12. Chapter 12

America saw himself floating in a big space of nothingness. America was just laying there in the middle of nothing. America turned and saw a light. He walked to the light and found himself in a gigantic room. He almost chuckled when he realized he shrunk.

He turned and saw a regular sized America on the floor half dead. Mini USA looked up and saw regular sized countries all around his regular size.

They where whispering just staring at the dying America. Mini USA climbed on top of America and started to cry.

'No one cares' he thought.

"No one cares..." Regular sized America whispered out loud. The other surrounding countries just stared, unmotivated.

Mini USA was too busy crying to be shocked.

'Everyone hates me...' He thought.

"Everyone hates me." America yelled louder, pain soaring through his body as he yelled. Everyone stepped back, Russia's pipe, Japan's katana, Germany's gun, and several other weapons glistened from the ants eye view.

"Who will be there when I need someone? Who will stand by my side? Who will care for me when I'm sick? Not you. For you are watching me die..." Mini USA whispered.

"Who will be there when I need someone?! Who will stand by my side?! Who will care for me when I'm sick?! Not you! For you are watching me die!" America yelled, climbing to his knees, clutching his stomach. the words hate, pain, and sorrow twirled around big America.

"NOT ANY OF YOU! YOU NEVER DID ANYTHING!" The regular sized America screamed before the mini one got to say anything.

Soon England stepped out of the crowd and looked at America.

"You never gave us the chance to." He said holding out his hand for America.

Mini sized America looked up from the shoulder of regular sized America and saw him reach for the hand.

Once the two hand clasped together England looked at America.

"Give us the chance to help. And we will. You never have us anything to worry for. If you told us we would help you. That's what friends are for."

Mini America looked at England and said,

"That's what friends are always for."  
00000000

England sat in the waiting room. Again in the same hospital. He didn't even look up when he heard the doctor.

"The boy is fine. He just forgot to take a pill. We injected some medicine so now he doesn't need pills. Just in case it happens again."

Silence.

"You may visit him Mr. Kirkland..."

England sighed and got up.

When he entered the room he saw America talking on the phone laughing.

England smiled. This laugh...this happiness...actually seemed real.

But then England remembered the pill. And he was not going to let America get away with this one.

"Hey Iggy! Why do you look so mad?" Alfred laughed.

"You are so dead you bloody jackass." He said his smile a bit scary.

"Should I be terrified?" America squeaked.

"Yes."

"Oh shit."  
~~~~in car  
America sat in the passenger's seat reading the newspaper, Shocker!, in silence.

"Damn..." He muttered.

"What now?" England said, a bit unsurprised that America had another problem going on.

"I'm might be going to war with Syria..."

"Oh America."

"Hey! That dude can be a real jerk sometimes!" America yelled defending himself.

"And you shouldn't really be involved...I mean seriously America. You two are 'enemies' and everything but really? You have Frog on your side...You're doomed..." England said shaking his head as he stopped at the red light.

"Hey! Syria has no right to be a jerk like that and get away with it! He can be really rude! What better response than war?!" America pratically shouted, slamming his fist against his palm.

"..." England sat there a bit surprised.

"I just..."

"Yeah..."

"And I said..."

Silence.

"Not so innocent or pacifist now huh?" England mumbled, starting to drive at the green light.

"I wasn't a pacifist! I enjoy fighting! What the hell am I saying..." America whispered face palming.

"Oh America...Where did I go wrong?"

"You're cooking for one. Um...that tuxedo you made me wear, that time you got drunk in front of me when I was only 12 years old..." America said counting off his fingers.

"Just shut it git."

America laughed. He wiped his eyes and sighed.

**I love doing cliffhangers so warning: you'll have one soon and then you'll probably hate me but that's another story chapter thing ^J^ Oh and MTC ill update next weekend ish? I SUCK AT WEDDING SCENES SUE ME**


	13. Chapter 13

America smiled as he stared at England.

"Don't look at me like that git." England mumbled taking the keys out of the ignition. He threw them at America who, to his dismay, caught them. Yes England was still mad about the boy's carelessness.

"But your eyes are nice." America complimented.

"What?" England asked a bit confused. Did he hear the boy right? Nice? that was the word used to describe the Brit? No way. He must have heard wrong.

"They're nice. The green is so beautiful and the shade is amazing. You're not wearing contacts today right?" America joked saying the last part.

"OF COURSE NOT!" England yelled raising his hand to strike the American. At least he hadn't heard wrong...

Laughing his head off, America clutched his sides and started gasping for breath.

"Jeez Iggy. Calm the fuck down." He smirked placing his feet on the dashboard.

Rolling his eyes, England lowered his hand, and got out of the car, leaving America behind. As soon as he left, America's smile left his face and was replaced with a frown. Biting his lip in disgust and frustration America sighed, staring out the window.

The lawn was bright and wet with condensation. The mailbox paint was starting to peel, the name Alfred fading. Eyeing the Brit, America watched as England grabbed the mail, unlocked the door, and closed it after entering. Tapping his hand against the window creating a small random rhythm, America face palmed.

"He is so stubborn...Just say yes..What else can I do?" He muttered unbuckling his seat belt. Placing his blue convers off the dashboard, he walked up to the house. He stood at the red wooden door and rested his head against it.

"Maybe I'll just sit on the porch for a bit...yeah. That'll do me some good."  
-oooooo  
Hearing his phone ring, England put the mail on the table and answered.

"Hello?...Oh hello Mrs. Elizabeth...uh ok...Yes Prime Minister?...Uh my phone was probably off...Ok I'm terribly sorry but what is it you need exactly?...WHAT?! Do I have to?!...But...Fine. I'll see what I can do...No I do not plan on telling him...Maybe I should but...no. I'm not telling him...Well okay sir...Yes of course...Goodnight."

England dragged his hands down his face and sighed. He put his phone in his palm and kept staring at it, biting his lip.

_PITTER PATTER PITTER PATTER_

"Great now it's raining..." England whispered looking out the window.

Soon the door flew open revealing a drenched America.

"I sit on the porch for ten minutes and I get ten gallons worth of water poured on me. Fun." Grumbling furiously, America grabbed his jacket and walked to the sink wringing it out. Walking, to the laundry, he carelessly flung the shoes inside the dryer and changed into sweatpants and a regular loose T-shirt with a Captain America logo.

"Dude everything all right?" Plopping himself on the couch, trying to get himself comfortable, America finally realized the worried look on Iggy.

England looked up from his phone and just muttered,

"Don't worry about it..." Pacing around the room, with his hand holding his chin.

America tilted his head and eyed England carefully. His face seemed older and sadder. The suspicion was growing with every second.

"England..."

"It's all right...So do you want to watch a movie?" England muttered waving his hand to shoo it off. As he got closer to America, America realized the brit looked a bit impatient with a dash of sympathy and sadness. Was it him or was England a mixed cocktail of emotions right now?

And a movie? What was the Brit playing at? It was obvious that England wasn't fond of American films...even though they where awesome. I mean look at the graphics! And the digital stuff!

"Sure. How about The Avengers?" America suggested, his head hanging upside down from the couch.

Going into the kitchen, England merely nodded and stated he was going to pop some popcorn.

There was defiantly something wrong with England. He wasn't fond of America's hero movies especially. He would complain on how it was all cheesy and predictable.

And America knew it well.

-oooo

When America woke up he heard shuffling and a zipper. Suspicion and curiosity took over and he got up and stretched. He snickered when he found out he fell asleep on the couch, his hand in the popcorn bowl. Hey! The couch was practically a pillow! Just ignore the neck pains...And the back pains...Anyways! Remembering his mission, America started looking for the place where the noise came from.

He then walked over to England's temporary room. Leaning against the smooth cool door, he pressed his ear against the door. Soon there was grumbling and some cuss words.

"Out of all the days... of all the weeks...Fuck my life..."

_ZIP ZIP ZIP_

"Do I have all my clothes?"

_SHUFFLE STEP SHUFFLE_

"Will everything fit?"

_ZIP ZIP ZIIIIPPP_

"Damn it!...Its too small!...Asking America to help me close it would be a bad idea..."

Opening the door in confusion, America saw England packing up and folding his clothes.

"England...You're leaving?" America asked his voice breaking when he said leaving. Inside of him his heart was breaking, shattering into pieces. He knew the answer. And yet this still came as a shock to him.

England turned around quickly and saw America standing at the door. He gulped and faked a smile.

"Uh yeah America... I really gotta go... They need me really bad so... Yeah I'm leaving."

**THIS NO CLIFFHANGER! But I've noticed my chapters are getting shorter...oops...I tried my best making this one better...AND OMFG 51 reviews?! I LOVE YOU GUYS!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Listen to halo While reading. No goal in mind but it's a good combination...**

"No! Don't go! Please England!" America yelled throwing himself to England's knees, begging. Tears started dripping from his eyes.

"England don't leave me! Please! I love you a lot! I don't want you to leave me! Please don't go! I love you..." America sobbed. He kept tightening his grip on England.

"America dear, don't cry. Why are you crying?" England asked confused. The boy was acting as if he was younger.

"I love you! I don't want you to leave me! I'm scared of what I'll do!" America yelled into England's sweater vest.

"America..."

"I might hurt myself again! Or worse! I need you England! I need you because I love you! I can't do anything with out you! Don't leave me...please Iggy. I'll be a better nation I promise! Just don't leave again... You left me too much when I was younger...don't do it again... "

England sighed as guilt welled up in him, and kneeled besides America.

"America...I love you too...but I have to leave... They need me over in England. You know one can only stay away for so long... I have to go and organize some things... I also have to do paper works and such. I can't just...Well I can't look out for two nations, now can I? I'm sorry America but I have to do my duties... But I do love you. "

Looking up America wiped the tears from his eyes.

"Really?"

"Yes America." England whispered hugging his ex colony tight.

America hugged back, never wanting to break this hug.

"I love you...Please don't leave me..." He whispered.

"I love you too..." England whispered back, placing a small kiss on America's cheek.

And they knew that they loved each. other. They knew it was true.

"But I have to leave..."  
-oooo

Waking up, America saw himself laying on the floor his cheeks covered in dry tears. Looking around he saw that England's luggage was gone. He sighed and stared at the floor.

England must have left him when he had the chance.

He glanced at his reflection on the polished wooden floors. A tear slid off his face. America noticed this. And then he broke, like a dam.

That one drop just released the great Hoover Dam.

America put his head on the ground and sobbed loudly pounding his fists against the floors, yelling and screaming.

He kept crying and finally looked up meeting face to face with his reflection.

"Look at you. Reduce to tears. What a hero. You're just an obnoxious bastard who is a noisy son of a bitch. Who everyone hates. You're a weak spineless jackass, correction, a jackass has more spine than you...Relying on England all the time. And you told him you loved him! He just probably felt pity and said what you wanted to hear! Where are you going from here? You still owe China trillions...Lucky you he hasn't started treating you like a piece of shit. Everyone dislikes you. You can't keep you're mouth shut. You're not a hero. You're a...loser...hypocrite...a...villain. Well it all ends now." America growled. His face was red, hot tears streaming down his face.

"IT ENDS NOW!" He screamed.

Going towards the guest bed, and grabbed a gun he kept hidden under the bed in case anything happens. Walking towards the cabinet he pulled out a box of bullets and fumbled with the gun and bullets in one hand. Shivering, he picked one up and placed it in the barrel.

Looking into the mirror he pointed the gun to the side of his head. Was this really the end for America?

_'Who's gonna miss me? No one... It's been a while since I thought of you...May my halo shine bright...if I have one...probably not...and...forgive me but I can't stand it. Sorry.'_

"Give me Liberty from this hell...Or give me death." He whispered looking at the mirror.  
-ooooooo

"America?" England whispered as he looked up from the kitchen. He just heard screaming.

'I wonder if he's all right...'

"I should go check." He whispered. He threw away the black burnt eggs(?) and walked up the stairs.

"Give me liberty from this hell...or give me death."

This time America used a depressed, and suicidal voice. Panicking, England hurried his pace.

"AMERICA?!" England yelled, rushing up the stairs.

A few inches away from the door, England heard a click.

And that was the awfully familiar sound of a revolver.

-ooo  
**Had nothing else to do so I put an early update! And...  
...you guys hate me now huh?...Just keep reading...It's not over...now excuse me I'm making reservations to not get killed by angry fangirls...cause I would totally kill myself if I had split personalities.../shot**


	15. Chapter 15

America's POV

I felt the tears stream down my face, my chest feeling clenched and tight, my heart broken and shattered, my head pounding with confusion. I felt light headed and dizzy. Was I really going to do this? I checked to make sure this wasn't a dream.

Nope, this is as real as it gets.

Holding the smooth, cool, metal against my head, I turned the barrel hearing the satisfying click sound.

I heard some footsteps, but shook it off.

'It's all in my head...' I thought.

Looking into the mirror, I sighed. I looked like a living hell. My hair was wild and untamable, more than France and England's hair dos combined. My eyes were red, and a bit swelled from the excessive sobbing. While my face a light crimson color from the screaming.

As my finger made contact with the trigger, I heard the door crashing open.

It was England. And he looked worried as hell.

And you know what he did? The fucking Limey tackled me!

Grabbing my wrist he grabbed the gun and threw it across the room. I focused my attention away from him and turned to my wrist. He had such a grip on it, it might as well turned purple.

"YOU BLOODY WANKER WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!" England yelled, it being noticeable that fury was consuming him.

This all came to a shock to me. He was still here? I guess I should have been happy but...I wasn't.

I frowned, tears continuing to fall. Collapsing to my knees, I sobbed. I sobbed for myself and the trouble I caused. Or thought I caused, anyways. I cried for being selfish. I cried for being alive. I cried for being a nation. I cried for being the United States of America.

Looking up towards England I yelled, as if confusion, anger, and sadness were trapped inside me, and finally, it just bursted out of me.

"DON'T YOU GET IT!? I'M BROKEN!"

More like gonna be broke. Say goodbye to your wealth, me! Fuck you economy!

"I'M THE REMAINS OF WHAT USED TO BE A GREAT NATION!"

Seriously has anyone seen the happy innocent childlike America from, say, 190 years ago? Ya know, the one that had a can do spirit? The one that actually lead this landscape somewhere? Oh wait he's me? Well sad to say, I'm not as hopeful as I used to be.

"I'm not America...Not the one you used to know in World War Two, during the Revolution, during every moment we spent together...That America's gone now. I don't know who I am anymore..."

Oh wait yes I do. I'm nobody.

"Just leave me alone."

But of course that comment ticked off England a lot. So much that the fucking Limey bastard slapped me across the face! Hard! I mean who the fuck does that to the hero?! The sound of skin against skin echoed off the walls. The pain traveled through my face, causing me to flinch.

I held my cheek, the skin stinging with pain, a red hand print on my face. He slapped me so hard that if I placed my finger on it, a waves of stings would soar, making me flinch.

"AMERICA YOU GIT! YOU WERE GOING TO COMMIT SUICIDE AGAIN?! HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?!"

"...Apparently not." I whispered, still holding my cheek.

Glancing at England's hand, I saw it clenched into a fist. His other seemed as if it was ready to slap me another time. Even though I knew he wouldn't, I couldn't shut my mouth.

"No matter how many times you slap me, I won't learn." I blurted. I saw how England's expression changed from anger and fury, to guilt and sadness.

"America I'm sorry I didn't mean to slap you-" He whispered reaching out for my shoulder. Instead of brushing it off I let his hand stay there.

He grabbed me by my shoulders, pulling me up, and lead me to the kitchen. Sitting down at the couch I clutched his arm. Sighing, England placed an arm on my shoulder.

"America. Why do you do this? It's not right love. Why do you insist? Don't you think anyone's going to miss you? Like...me? Do my feelings count? Did you think I would just continue living if you committed suicide?" England whispered cradling America.

I sighed and wiped my eyes.

"I did. But I thought you wouldn't care. Who would? France hates me, Russia hates me for the Cold War and Vietnam and Korea, China only wants his money, I can't remember my own brothers name..." I choked at that thought.

My poor brother Matthew. Forgotten, alone, but most of the times Prussia was with him making him laugh and lighting up his face. Prussia, a deceased nation on the other side of the world, had a better connection with my brother than me, who he shares a border with along with our some of our DNA.

That just shattered me hard. Like a wrecking ball.

"G-Germany hates me for declaring war on Japan and him, destroying his chances at making an atomic bomb...  
Japan might as well forget my name. Just like him I killed innocents. But mine was worse. Mine might have well been written by the Devil himself. I caused black rain in Hiroshima. I caused a new radioactive sickness... And what did my people say? God is on our side."

Took me a few years later to see the wrongness in my actions when I bombed Japan. I realized, that when we were living they were dying. When we were playing and laughing, they were mourning and crying. When we put up our beers, whiskey, and drinks to propose a toast to the success of the bomb, they were begging for water.

"I think God was on no ones side. But on both. He protected all Axis soldiers along with all Allies soldiers. But we just...we lost it. I lost it. I noticed that I took things to far... But they couldn't have been stopped so I had too...I couldn't sleep for a bit after the bombings. I guess I was just exited or something. The Reich epidemic reminded me of the native Indians and the reservations."

I'm like one of the biggest hypocrites ever. Sending my natives to a reserve were they starved and died... The Long Walk...while I was talking about Germany and how he treated his people.

"The war reminded me how terrible I was. How I was a hypocrite. And i broke your heart and soul during the revolution...And now I'm just tired of blaming myself and living like this. So I thought...well yeah you get it. But I get it now. I now know that I just can't destroy myself but...I need a reason why." I hoarsely whispered.

"For me there is no reason to live. I know it's wrong. But what's the point if you had nothing to loose, nothing to begin with, in the first place?"

I turned to Iggy, seeing his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth in a frown. I mentally groaned. I knew that look. He was going to give me a lecture.

"America I will tell you why. Because we love you! We are your friends! We care for you! I care for you! France likes your ideas and is grateful for helping him in WWII! Russia is found of you...I think...he does creep everyone out though...anyways! China is pleased with the trade between you guys! He would have stopped if he hated it! Canada still loves you as a brother! Germany likes you too. And you and Japan are best friends! For me...I still love you. More than a friend. I would do anything to protect you. Because I care for you. I wouldn't live if you died. Do you understand why now?"

I faintly smiled, closed my eyes, and leaned against England.

"Yeah...I do now. I guess..."

"We're like a chain. Everyone is a link in this chain. One can not simply live without the other." England mumbled his fingers going through my wheat hair. I fixed Texas and sighed.

"A chain...Well we are a jacked up chain if you ask me." I replied.

"Stupid wanker. Missing the point as always. You need some form of punishment... No ice cream for a month." He mumbled a bit annoyed.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I have my rights!" I screamed. Bitch I dont care how messed up I am you can't take away my ice-cream!

"Not when you're under my care..."

"Dude I totally learned my lesson!"

"...Liar...Or maybe I should send you to a therapist..."

"Iggy!"

"...Or a mental hospital...No a therapist would be fine...A mental therapist anyways..."

"IGGY!"

"How much is a therapist? Maybe Matthew still willing to pay for it..."

"Amazing how you remember my brother when it comes to money...WAIT! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

"No...I wouldn't want you to be a burden. I'll just send you to a regular therapist...I don't see why not..."

"I do!"

Stupid meanie isn't listening. And he talks about me.

"And then you'll be better faster!"

"LISTEN TO ME! I DON'T NEED A THERAPIST!"

"This is the most wonderful idea I ever had! Well next to beating Spain's ass along with the Frog..."

"Two unicorns are selling cotton candy with pixies."

"Then it's final! Im sending you to a therapist!...Oh where you saying something?"

My eye twitched. I groaned and purposely collapsed on top of England.

"Gah! You fucking fat arse! Get off! You weigh a ton!" He yelled trying to push me off.

"You still gonna send me to a therapist?" I muttered.

Instead of replying he pinched me. Instead of saying a quick yes or no he pinched me. I swear if this keeps up I'm gonna have to file an abuse report, or something.  
-67676767

England's POV

I felt a heavy burden get off of me. That ass hat was such a fat arse. God damn it I'll have to send him to a gym after this.

Getting up, I dusted myself off and walked into the kitchen. I rummaged through the fridge until I found a packet of ice. Walking towards the idiot, who was already watching TV as if nothing happened. I resisted the urge to smack him behind the head with the ice packet.

"OW! Stop slapping me!" America yelped rubbing his arm.

I resisted the ice packet. Not my hand.

I slowly put the ice packet against his cheek, causing him to flinch.

"America I'm sorry. I didn't mean to slap you that hard on the face. I didn't even mean to slap you dear..." I mumbled.

I was angry at the git. I knew slapping him was a bit to overboard but i couldn't help myself. I noticed only after I had made contact with his skin. But of course instead of apologizing right away, I kept yelling at him.

"Naw it's ok. But it hurt like hell. Didn't think you had such a strong arm..."

"Shut it wanker. Just shut it." I growled.

He chuckled grabbing the ice pack. The red started turning purple, and I had a sickening feeling in my stomach.

Did I really hit him that hard?

"Hey England are you ok?"

"Hm? Uh...kinda...yeah. It's just your cheek is purple and I'm getting worried." I mumbled.

I checked my hands seeing they were a bit red, mostly on the palm and finger tips.

"Calm down. I've had worse."

"And that's supposed to make me feel better how exactly?" I said.

"..."

"That's what I though, wanker." I exclaimed. Before I knew it a planted a kiss on his forehead and ruffled his hair as if he was a little kid.

"You are a hell of a lot of trouble."

"I could say the same to you..." He muttered.

I just smirked and made my way to make lunch. Or something that looks like it. Don't judge my cooking!

-/0000

**IGGY SAVED THE DAY! Gave you a longer chappie.**

**Tried doing POVs... Tell me how that worked out.**

**Fun Fact: I can't kill of a character. I hate killing off characters so much I read a Doujinshi where Arthur dies and I cried so hard. I just can't stand that.-_-...**

**ELEVEN reviews?! OMFG Thanks guys. Means a lot ^J^**


	16. Chapter 16

America eyed the building, smiling at the details. There were columns that held it up and it was freshly painted white.

Closing the door behind him, America walked into the building and gaped at the inside. It was perfect. The marble was shining bright, the floors polished to perfection.

England rolled his eyes and pulled America towards the counter.

"Hello. We're here for the six o clock appointment with a...Dr. Rubenstien?"

The red head looked up and fixed her glasses that covered her hazel eyes.

"Oh you mean Rubenstein. Te as in tea not stien like Frankenstien, dear."

"Apologies."

"No it's quite all right. Room 108 for an appointment for...an Alfred F. Jones?" She said, typing and looking at the computer screen.

"That's me!"

Smiling slightly, America walked to the door and entered the room.

It was plain. The rug was red and covered every inch, the bookshelf needed to be dusted, and the desk was covered in paper work. The tall doctor looked up, ran his fingers through his slick black hair and grabbed a clipboard.

"Please sit down. Its time to begin."

"So Alfred...how do you feel?" The doctor replied clicking his pen on and off.

"Like American trash." America glumly answered.

"Why?"

"Because that's what I am. American trash. I feel like a big pile of shit. Hey doc lets pretend I'm the personification of America? Ok?"

"Ok. So...America...Why are you suddenly so depressed?"

"It's not suddenly. I started thinking like this a few years ago. When everything was in a shitty form, everyone was unemployed and jacked up. Then I realized my friends probably hate me a lot."

"How did you figure that out and why?" The doctor asked, waving the pen in the air.

"Well you see, my friends can sometimes have a tendency to be jackass towards me because I can tend to be retarted towards them. Like my friend Ch- I mean Yao. He isn't really in good terms with me. I owe him a lot of money."

"Interesting...And committing suicide was an option because...?"

"Because it's like relief. It's like a video game. Bam. Game Over. No more troubles, annoyance, just resting in peace. Just a relief of my troubles and pain." America mumbled, relief heard in his voice.

"So you wanted to run away from your fear?"

"Yeah. Actually I did. Sometimes that's the only thing I can do. When I'm too scared, tired, or weak to fight back I collapse. And when I feel so worn out and torn, I only have energy to run. Run as far as possible until I reach the dead end."

"But why? Why don't you stand up and fight? Giving it all that you got. You're America. And thats what we americans do. We don't give up. So why are you going to? Who has told you it was ok to give up?" Dr. Rubenstein urged.

"No one but myself. Sometimes it's easier to give up then follow useless dreams and goals. Ones that will never come true no matter how hard you try. No matter how much you think you can do it, you can't. I've been there before. Trying so hard, and then looking back seeing in reality, you've gotten worse then better. So you figure why not give up? Its going downhill from here."

"Do you like history?"

America resisted the urge to yell out, I AM history.

"Yes."

"Well then it seems to me your describing the revolution. They colonists had tried so hard to defeat Great Britain. They starved, froze, and were killed. For their freedom. Some wanted to give up. But they realized, we got this far. We already seem to be in the deep end. We lost a lot. So let's keep trying and regain what we lost. Do you see what I am trying to say?"

"Yeah. But it was just luck and faith that drove them to victory. And after that the government owed forty million to the colonists and had to restrain order. Another goal and hard obstacle to give up on."

Writing on his clipboard, the shrink looked a bit confused and asked,

"If they were driven by faith and luck...what makes you any different...America?"

"The heavy burdens that are more than two hundred years old."

"But did you ever think that faith and luck could drive them out?"

"I dunno."

"Tell me your reasons for attempting suicide, twice."

"Well the first one was because I thought I couldn't make it and that there was no point in trying and the second was because I felt and thought I was left alone. I thought that no one would be there because I was...terrible? Is that the correct term?"

"So giving up and being alone...But both had to do with your self esteem and consciousness."

"Huh?"

"Well you felt bad about yourself for both right?"

"Oh yeah. Which is weird 'cause I'm always boasting on how awesome I am."

"Did you ever think that boasting was the reason your friends 'hate' you?"

"Yeah but I don't think that's it. I have my own problems with each and every friend."

"Well...I think your problem is that you worry a bit too much and your stressing over small things and suffering from depression. Just calm down think some happy things and relax. Stop stressing. I suggest you get away from the city for a bit and go on a short vacation. A calm one. Makes sense?"

"I'll think about it but yeah. Makes sense." America replied, sighing.

Looking at his watch, Rubenstein looked up and said,

"Time to go. See you next week?"

"Sure. Yeah. Thanks doc."

"No problem."  
-

England looked up when he saw America exiting the room.

"How did it go?"

"Meh. Typical shrink stuff. The usual crap."

"Any advice?" England asked, clearly unsatisfied with the answer.

"Vacation. Stress relief. Depression pills. You know the drill."

England rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"He has a point though. You got to calm down and relax."

"Says the guy who constantly beats the shit out of a fellow nation."

"The frog deserves it."

Rolling his eyes, America jumped off the stairs like a child.

"Whatever you say dude. And uh...can we get some McDonalds on the way?"

England groaned, and mentally cursed.

"Fine."  
**-/-  
I fucking hate apple head phones. And IOS7...**

**Almost done with the story...**

**And honestly I winged it on this chapter.**


	17. Chapter 17

America constantly visited the therapist. Following his advice, America went on vacation with England on a nearby cabin on the lake, in Washington. It was more like a vacation to America than England, considering England's boss had let him stay if they were able to mail him all the paper work.

America would fish and run around the woods. On the rare times that England had a break, America would occasionally throw him in the lake and jump in after him.

Today was one of those days.

"You keep this up, I'm boarding a plane to England." He growled.

Laughing, America splashed water in England's face.

"Sure you will. Dude I'm irresistible! Spell it with me! I-R-E-S-I-S-T-A-B-L-E!"

Rolling his eyes, England replied,

"...You spelled it wrong."

"I did? Crap."

America slowly sunk to the bottom in disappointment.  
-3333333  
Plopping on the cabin's bed, America grabbed the remote and flipped through the channels.

England walked out of the shower, drying his hair and staring at the TV.

"What shite are you watching now?"

"American Dad."

"Typical...Pass me my suitcase...So how are you feeling?" England asked sitting on the edge of the bed facing Alfred.

Throwing the small suitcase, America replied,

"Er my emotions or my stomach?"

"Both." England mumbled slipping on his shirt.

"Well I'm starting to feel a bit better about myself and my stomach is actually really awesome! Though I still have some doubts..." Americas said uneasily, fixing his position in the bed position.

"Why?"

"I don't know. I'm deep knee in problems. China might as well grab a giant stamp and post property of china on my forehead, while I grab him by a chain and tell him to keep working. God my country's so jacked up... Where did it all go? The carefree, happiness, the...money. Where did all my money go? Heh. And I'm still fooling myself I'm the richest nation on earth. God I'm run by stressed... And I keep shining my pearly whites."

"Oh America. You're too young for this...You're less than 300 years of age...I guess we're all wrong."

"What are you talking about?"

"We compare you to us. And we claim you're immature and childish. But then again you're still young. Of course. But we looked past your age. We thought you kept acting like a child, failing as an adult. France was the first one to notice, I think. He said that you weren't that immature when you wished to be. Of course we shrugged it off and kept thinking you as a minor. But a regular childish mind wouldn't be able to accomplish this. Taking notice of your problems is mature. And that's the thing. You're maturing too fast because of this situation. You're changing your actions very quickly, without giving yourself time to get used to it. You might be the hero, but you got to slow down. You're always too fast for life, wanting everything done like that." England lectured snapping his fingers at the word That.

America smiled and fixed his pillow.

"Heh...If you say so. Night Iggy..."

"Good Night America."

Walking away, England sighed as he closed the door, and whispered,

"...That's not my name."  
-ooooo

In the morning England woke up at 8 and walked towards the kitchen to prepare breakfast. Seeing America at the table before him was a bit...shocking.

"How long-?"

"Since six in the morning." America whispered stirring his coffee.

"Ok. You want anything specific for breakfast?"

"Already made it. The rest is in the microwave..." America whispered fiddling with his fingers.

"Are you ok?" Noticing the nations strange behavior, England got suspicious.

"Huh? Oh yeah. It's just my government shut down..."

"Are you alright? Your not hurt right?"

"Not really. Just a headache once in a while...God I'm weak...But I'm trying not to overreact...after all they got this...they got this..." America whispered doubt in his voice.

England grabbed his meal out of the microwave and ruffled Americas head.

"Relax ok? Doesn't mean you can stop thinking about it all together but just take it easy."

"Maybe I should have never declared independence...What do you think?"

"I think that if fate wanted to be a bloody jackass and kick me in the rear by giving you independence then you should accept it and be happy you got it...Even if fate can be a total bitch sometimes..."

"Heh. Ok then. So what do want to do?" Chuckling, America dropped a sugar cube in the dark colored coffee.

"Why don't we just take a walk? A calm, nice, and relaxing walk."

"Yeah...calm. Ok then. A walk it is! And how do you like the breakfast burger?"

England suddenly realized the greasy taste invading his mouth. He spit it out in pure disgust.

"Aw what?! What the hell man! It was not bad!"

"Sorry but I don't want to gain pounds and carry it around."

"I am not fat! Pure muscle dude!"

"Sureee..."

-oooo  
**Yes I know there are less details and stuff, but I have four projects to work on! My hat goes off to any fellow middle schooler/ high schooler/student who's doing history fair and science fair at the same time!**

**Asta la pasta~!**

**Ps: Fuck the government. Can't make up their minds. -_-**


	18. Chapter 18

America sat on the dock, looking at the stars, humming. He silently chuckled when remembering the walking trip.

-rEwInD-

Looking around, England sighed when he lost sight of the cabin. All he could see was a big bloody ox in from of him. Stupid America.

"When the bloody hell are we going to leave! I need to do my paperwork!" He yelled.

"Psshhhh. Your the one who suggested the walk." America countered, as he went off the trail and into the large forest.

"Hmpf. And now I regret it."

Too busy annoying America, England kept following him, unaware that they were off the trail.

"Oh well. This isn't your treatment now is it, Iggy?" America snapped, picking up a branch and throwing it away, to make the path clearer.

"Why is there branches and leaves all over the trail anyway?"

"Dude we got off the trail like twenty minutes ago."

"WHAT?!"

America simply ignored this and continued to walk forward. Tripping on a log, he fell backwards pushing England. England stumbled getting closer to a nearby mud puddle.

"Careful you git!" He yelled.

"What?" America asked, turning around bumping into England, causing him to fall in the brown murky puddle.

"Gah! Fucking...Damn it America!"

"Ha! Dude you fell in mud!"

"Shut up you wanker!"

"But it's hilari- AH!" America yelled placing his hand on his aching head.

"America? Are you all right?" England said trying to get rid of the mud.

"Y-Yeah...J-Just some p-pains...DAMN IT!" Another jolt of pain soared through America's head.

"W-Why c-can't they just g-get along..." he whispered shortly before receiving another pain.

"America lets go back to the house. I'll get you some aspirin."

"N-Medicine c-caused this... Republicans don't like...The plan...ObamaCare..."

"I thought ObamaCare was to help the nation?"

"Everything is...The taxes are to help America...The shutdown helps America...the civil war helped America by winning freedom for slaves...Everything...h-helps...But the p-pain swells...U-Unlike the V-Vietnam War...so many teenagers...k-killed. For...n-nothing..."

"America are you sure you don't want aspirin?"

"It'll go away in a few seconds..."

Soon America slowly got back up and shakily walked towards his destined area.

"Where are we going?"

"Here."

England looked and saw an old abandoned park. It was littered in dead leaves and branches, the swings were rusty, and the slide was broken in two.

"What the bloody hell..."

"A park I used to go to in the nineteen sixties." America responded, walking over to the old rickety swings. Swinging, he kept looking at the sky while England stood there.

"Why wont you swing with me?"

"The swings are too old. I'm surprised they're carrying your weight."

"Meanie. I'll push you into another mud pit!"

"Ew no."

America chuckled and continued to swing higher and higher. The rusty swings went creak.

"You're gonna-"

Soon America flew out of the swing and fell flat on his face.

"Fall. Damn git."

America groaned and rubbed his face.

Hearing the footsteps of another, America turned around.

England kicked America inside the lake.

"What the-"

"That's what you get git." England mumbled, throwing a skipping stone.

"Cool! How do you do that?" America asked slowly dragging himself out of the water, dripping wet.

"I never taught you?"

"Probably not. And if you did I forgot. Spend most if my times in cites remember?"

England rolled his eyes. Grabbing a smooth stone, he turned to America and replied,

"Grab one."

America turned around and finally saw one.

"Too thick. Here take this one. I'll look for another."

Grabbing one from behind a tree, England grabbed America's hand.

"Ok. So put your index finger against the edge of the rock. Hold the flat sides of the rock with your thumb on one side and your middle finger on the other. Got it?"

"Uhhhh..." America looked lost.

"Oh god your hopeless. Here." England said adjusting America's fingers.

"Oh."

"Duh. Ok now stand with your feet shoulder width apart facing sideways to the water..."

"Like this?"

"Close enough. Adjust your footing." England said fixing America.

"Ok got it? Now squat down close to the water so that when you throw, your rock will be close to parallel with the surface of the water. The ideal angle between the stone and the water is 20 degrees; any less than that, and the friction slows it down; any more than that, and it cuts the water and sinks. Since you're tall, you might find yourself making the angle too wide."

"...What? Speak English."

England smacked America and positioned himself.

"Like this you wanker."

"Oh. Phsst. I knew that."

"Sure... Now throw it like a Frisbee. Throw it as fast as you can without losing form." England said, throwing the stone.

America did the same. The stone made two hops and plopped in the water. Turning to England's he saw it make ten.

"What?! Why do you have more!"

"Because I practice."

America poured and continue to throw.

England stared in complete amusement, chuckling every time he failed.

"God America."

"Hey if I keep going I'll make it!"

England frowned as he saw America's pace getting faster.

"See that's your problem. You go too fast. You wanna make it so badly, that you hurry and never think."

America turned to England in confusion.

"You think? Sometimes going fast works. If I wanna make it bad enough I gotta hurry to get that pleasant feeling of whatever I want."

"Some of the greatest minds came from America, surprisingly."

"Rude."

"But they went slow. They thought and thought. Most didn't rush. Benjamin Franklin said 'He who has patience can have what he will.'"

"I'm surprised you know that."

"Well maybe you should do something and learn."

America laughed.

"Whatever dude."

Heading back to the cabin to dry himself off he turned to England.

"Thanks."

"For the stones?" England asked.

"For everything. You're the best. You were there for me and well, you never left. Love you." He said standing near the door.

England looked back at his ex colony.

The boy had grown a lot in the past 200 years. He was such a different nation. The cute charming little boy was now a grown man. A childish one maybe but grown. He had experienced devastating times and some wonderful ones. The boy had recovered from suicidal thoughts, but still had a long way to go. He had to deal with the government, his people, the others. He was happy now and in a better condition. All he had to do was regain his high self esteem, which England believes America has already started. Smiling, England smiled and said,

"I love you too America. I love you so much."

America faintly smiled and hugged England.

And they knew, that together, they would surpass through times of needs and darkness. They knew one without the other was nothing.

Standing there, under the moonlight reflecting off the pool, their lips met.

Thus, America finally realized, after so long, that he was needed and loved. This filled his heart with an ever lasting joy that was thought to have vanish years ago.

And finally he was starting to feel complete. No matter what was gonna happen, America would keep his head up, and his smile bright just like a true hero.

For him and England.

••••••The End.•••••

**Epilogue anyone? Or that's it? Well it's been a everlasting joy writing this fic. Another one I'll post is going to be in a few days, a week at most, maybe. This fic has been a pleasure and I would like to thank those who took their time to review, follow, fav, and tell me what I needed to fix. Gratci~ **

**I love you guys and I'll miss you. So will America and England!**

**America: LIKE HELL WE WILL**

**Me:...Go back to your rightful owner America.**

**America: Oh the fan who betted on me...right...I'll go back after the final!**

**England: Me too!**

**Me:...Oh well.**

**Us three: BYE GUYS! HAVE A NICE LIFE AND TAKE CARE!**

**A: EAT MORE BURGERS**

**E: Don't listen to him!**

**Me: Bye! Now you two! Out!**

**A: Fine.**

**E: Ok.**

**Me: So uh yeah! Hope you liked the ending! ASTA la PASTA! **


	19. Chapter 19

America whistled, throwing a cigarette box from one hand to another. Smiling, he carefully unfolded a slip a paper that was tucked inside.

You suck.

He laughed at the slip of paper and crumbled it up. His therapist had suggested that he write down negative thoughts about himself and put it a box or compartment so he could read them over when he felt like it. Grabbing another one, he finally picked one of a perfect square.

You should Die.

America laughed even harder. The nation who invented the swivel chair should die? I don't think so!

He tucked the cigarette pack inside his jacket and continue to whistle a tune while running down the stairs.

When he reached the bottom he was greeted by the smell of smoke.

Groaning, America walked over to the fire extinguisher and into the kitchen. Giving it all his will, he shot out the foam.

America opened his eyes and struggled not to laugh at the sight of England buried in foam.

"Trying to burn down the house again are we?" America mocked, failing to hold back his laugh.

"Shut it git."

"Ouch. Your words hurt me so~" America said dramatically clutching his chest, and placing his arm on his forehead.

England grabbed a burnt pan and started debating on weather or not he should smack America with this. It could either kill more brain cells or knock some sense into him. England shrugged. The american already was thick headed. No harm done.

"Heh...what are you doing?"

"Since I can't use a pan to cook might as well use it this way..."

"Heh...WAIT OH CRAP!"

America started running around the house jumping over a table. He soon tripped over the rug, practically smashed his lower jaw against the rug, and his cigarette box flew out of the pocket.

"You smoke?"

Wiping the blood from his mouth, America smiled.

"Nah dude. That's were I store mean notes about myself, wait a couple months or weeks, open them and start laughing."

England looked at the American in a look that said, 'Really?'

America laughed and grabbed the box, throwing it across the room.

This caused the little papers to fly out like doves.

"Wouldn't it be wonderful if our all problems could just float away like that?" England whispered.

"To some maybe, but I don't think so. We need those problems. We can't have no problems."

"And why not?"

"Because their would be no solutions. One without the other is nothing. Nothing is a strong word. The rich need nothing, the poor have nothing, the blind see nothing and the dead know nothing."

England simply replied,

"But everyone still wants nothing."

**This chapter was confusing. Anyways fans of the Fuck you and your cows, they deleted it. So should I repost it or send it by PM to the fans? So since I'm officially done with this here's some other stuff to check out if you like my 'style'.**

**Drables' For the Soul**

**To Love a Servant**

**why admin so mean...**


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